Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling) Support Group

hey hun, i used to have no eye lashes.. and i had veryyy low self esteem. i think the best way to deal with this is to get fake eye-lashes.. or use lattisse.

hope i could help :)

I was just going to ask a question about this. There are a few guys interested in me and me in them but I just get so shy when they close enough to look into my eyes.

I was taking N-Acetyl Cysteine for a few months and all my eyelashes grew back, but then I ran out for one week and pulled them all out. I would like to wear false eyelashes but I feel like they look so fake. Especially when I don't have any eyelashes to prop them up.

I had the same thing when I was in high school. The only times I felt confident enough to even stand face-to-face with anyone (not just guys), was when I had managed to grow enough eyelashes.

Over time, though, I learnt this... As long as you're pretty sure the guy you're interested in can be trusted and is a good listener, there's no reason to be scared.

Realistically, like most trichsters, you will be dealing with trich in some way throughout your life. So you need to be with someone that is able to understand it, or at least be able to listen and accept what you're going through. You've actually got yourself a pretty good way to sort out whether the guy is worthy of you or not! I think that's a good thing!

I've only had a few guys that I've told. Both of my serious boyfriends, I was really scared to tell. But both turned out to be super supportive and did not act any differently in the times when I had no eyelashes. Once or twice I've told a guy that I was interested in, and they reacted a bit stand-offish. Not anything terrible, just not having a clue what to say. That was enough to tell me that I shouldn't waste my time with this guy, because I knew I needed someone more understanding and supportive.

You'll notice I'm talking about telling people, not them realising. I've been amazed to realise how few people actually notice when you don't have eyelashes. Or when you have big gaps. We go to such great lengths to hide this fault of ours, but I don't think that most people actually notice! Now I wear eyeliner, but in high school I had years with bald eyelids and people still didn't notice. I've never been comfortable with false lashes, but eyeliner alone can make a big difference to your look - and thus you feeling more confident that it's harder to notice. So, particularly if you're making some effort to cover it up, there is no need to be self-conscious and scared!

I would recommend you talk to a couple of trusted female friends about it. If you use makeup, get them to look at a couple of ways you do it and ask them what looks more natural. When they're less likely to notice. That might help you feel a bit more confident in how you look (if that's you in your profile pic, you have no reason to worry there anyway!)

I would also recommend that when you do get up that confidence and start seeing a guy, sit down with him and actually tell him about trich. What it means for your life, how you feel on your bad days, in what ways you need support, and what does not help. Even tell him that you hope that he won't be scared off - because that will give him a clue of how he shouldn't act (guys often need help with things like this!). Get that fear out in the open and set the challenge for him to support you straight up.

And more than anything, remember that you're worthy of a great guy. And even if they notice and do get scared off, you'll be ok. You'll find someone even better.

I am almost 50 and have never worn false eyelashes. I learned long ago to accept myself for who I am and others will too. You just don't have as many friends to choose from but the ones you do have (friends and boyfriends) will be the ones that are the most supportive and nuturing friends to have in the first place. Hold your head up high. Accept yourself with this condition and do whatever you need to either change the behavior or live with it. I lived with it for so long because there was absolutely nothing about it when I was younger. Then I had much more important things to worry about and take care of that trich was but on the back burner. This has finally been my time to look at this issue, unravel my emotions, and charge forward to becoming pull free. It's tough to be happy about your looks but you must be kind to yourself. I have found some people really don't care and will accept you no matter how your face looks.

Thank you so much for the support guys, it really makes me feel better :) I have found a good way to put makeup on my eyebrows to make them look like they're actually there without being too fake. I don't want to wear fake lashes because I believe that the people I know are used to seeing me like this and they would notice the difference if I started wearing them. I have told one guy before and he was totally and completely supportive of me. I just need to relax and allow myself to get closer to guys. Even if they do ask, it's not the end of the world.