What is Transgender
Transgender identity includes many overlapping sub-categories. These include transsexual; cross-dresser; transvestite; consciously androgynous people; genderqueer; people who live ...
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The pressures keep getting worse
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Hello group, my chosen name is stacie and would like to make a post here. I been in this group a bit and never made any posts because I have been trying so hard to repress who I am and trying to live in this world without stress of the per say normal world that I know I can never be a part of.
I was on hormones for 5 years and done my best to live female but realy lacked the support I needed because of the career choice I was in. I contracted type 2 diabetees 6 years ago and last two years have been on insulin shots. This lost my job and now cannot afford to pay for the horemones so that kind of sums up why I am stuck in this spiral. I read a comment on a person saying becomeing a woman with surgery, I would like to add we are women surgry matches the body to the soul. I will say that person is correct in saying take your time with all the changes on learning to co exist in a new roll in our lives is correct just saying we are women. When I was diagnosed medically with gender disorder I was told alot of us do not make it in this life with all the preasures we undertake. I did not think that this would happen to me but I find myself getting worse. I cannot stand me I feel i have no life and am condemed to this world to live the way they want to see me not for how I want to live. I cannot be myself and no matter how much I put effort in being that normal guy I get sick to my stomach and full of regrett and sorrow. I know I am getting close to giving in to this pain and cannot seem to break this cycle. I just want out of this world what everyone else is able to get that is a life. I love my wife very much and my daughter I often have thought of leaving disapearing per say but I just can't hurt them in that fasion. I can't keep going like this. I am lost scared and fearfull of what I am now getting into in this depression. I have tried the therapist thing but everyone I ever talk to is stuck on "you must have been touched as a child". OMG i get so sick of hearing that. I know what happend I turned to puberty the first thoughts of sex was with a man as a woman sorry to say that was 4 years past my fathers death. I could keep typing but I would not want to read such a long post. I want to say how proud of all of you I am to be yourselfs good luck on acheiving compleation. Love always Your friend Stacie Posted on 08/30/09, 04:08 pm |
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Keep the faith and do not give up on your dreams, There will always be set backs in life but somehow we manage to get through them. Times may seem so difficult that you feel you may not manage. Have faith that you will find another job, just keep looking. I would try to find ways on what certain things you can cut back on in order to maintain you theropy treatment. You should be able to collect unemployment and go to social services and see what they can do to help you with like food stamps ( that is not welfare) also maybe they can help with your insulin since you are a diabetic they can help with your supplies. Go through the government services you tax dollars pays into it you should recieve some help from them. The only thing they can say is no, but since you are unemployed they might help it is worth the effort. 
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I forgot to ask what was the reason for the dismissal ???
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I am working now but when you posess a comercial drivers license you have to be able to pass a D.O.T physical. When you are on the shot you automaticaly fail
The money I make now will no where near cover all the costs of reasighnment. And where I live it's realy old school mentality so im stuck.
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Find out what kind of drug or drugs that makes you not qualified. Then find out from your doctor if there is an alternate medication you can use in replace of the previous one. So you can pass the physical. If not I would contest it through an organization like the ACLU or the Gay & Lesbian Rights Activists "somebody". Because it is dicrimatory if they list your medication that is helping with your transition...
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Stacie, I feel so bad about the position you are in. Just keep wishing for the best as it will eventually come true. I'm just beginning to see the light so just believe.....
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.....Thank god...youve got good friends here to talk to
.............the road is hard......some people don't understand but then some of us do......... .
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I know the feeling lack of money etc. I don't have many college courses left to get my 2 yr associates in computer science aka CIT or Computer information technology. It just seems like time goes by so slow and I felt so depressed about feeling trapped for so long. I stopped and thought a minute about the world without me,death and all and just the idea of not being here felt so good and such a relief. I guess I really don't have the will power to live or die, I'm just somewhere in between. Just the thoughts though of peace and nothingness it gets to me sometimes. ya ya I know I need a vacation but when your on Social security disability check you don't get a vacation! I make enough to scrape by and that's it! I know the world wouldn't even notice me being gone though and it doesn't bother me. Wish I could just be put into a coma or frozen somehow for a very long long nap cus I need it! So worn down from life.
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Hi stacie,
don't give up sweetie, I know its hard but be strong, you have friends here who understands what you are going threw, and you're not alone in this big world. Don't focus your time on the road blocks, but rather focus your attention on the things that you can do. You have been given the advice and support from our friends here, additionally I would comment about looking for a social worker that can also be of help to you. *hugs*
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Additionally, as for combating depression, it is a good idea to surround yourself with positive energy, being around people to up lift your spirits.
-Rhonda-
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