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Advice:
cure?
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I am seeing a theripist, who believes that my drive toward the feminine can be cured. Should I hope that he is right, or am I kidding myself to think I can get rid of these feelings?
Posted on 09/14/07, 10:59 pm
14 Replies | Most Recent Add Your Advice
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Advice:
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Reply #1 - 09/15/07  11:55pm
" THE CURE is MY FAVORTIVE BAND! how's that for an answer?
pat "
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Reply #2 - 09/17/07  3:11pm
" Decades ago i felt the same way~ and then i had a series of rude awakenings. Things like; "It's the doctor who pronounces us a "Transsexual", not ourselves, and people who i thought transgendered had breast reduction surgery and went back to life as men.... or women. There were a number of other things that happened along the way but one "had to be there" to fully understand. I think for me it was the act of doing everything but~ that's to say no matter what i did after decades the core issue of being the wrong gender never changed.... for me it worsened into many and more of the things you mentioned.

In decades past i've witnessed several such scenarios as you've written about in this thread and it seems the consensus is to tell the person (you) to run like hell and find a Gender Specialist. What do i say?

I'll play the Devil's Advocate because i, like you would at least listen to "A Cure" if even it was nonsense. What if you were not Trans and had the irreversible surgery- What Then?

While i like the Band "The Cure" too- i find it to be a non-answer for whatever reason. A serious question by someone in pain deserves the same~ a reasonable answer. And that my dear is the work you must do.

All i could suggest is to realize the transition process is lengthy and not done in a short time, but often in years. You deserve to have relief from your pain- but find a place of peace within you and keep it for your own well being. After all, acting out will only delay your services and eventual recovery from whatever the diagnosis is.

-Marina "
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Reply #3 - 12/23/07  11:39pm
" for me it is not something i wish to be cured, it is who i am

SGM "
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Reply #4 - 12/24/07  3:50am
" I hope there is no cure. I want to meet more ppl like me and I'm too old to not be who I am. This is me! "
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Reply #5 - 12/27/07  8:46pm
" I have never once heard that there is a cure to transsexualism... Does your therapist specialize in gender issues? If not, I would seek one out, that is... It is outrageous to here that there is a cure... I've livved a lifetime of not being comfortable in my previously male body... I can't even phathom ever desiring to be a boy again... I'm sorry, but your therapist just pissed me off! Write me if you want to talk...

Stephanni "
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Reply #6 - 01/10/08  1:55pm
" This community seems to specialize in, of all things, GREY AREAS. *Laughs*

The concept of a 'cure' has a couple harsh points to it, mostly that a 'cure' implies a 'problem'. Many of us don't see our situations as a problem that needs to be cured, but more of a lifestyle that deserves to be respected and recognized.

Now, that being said, I HAVE heard of people who felt that their desires was a problem. I can stretch my imagination to think that some emotional conditioning, trauma, or other medical issues could cause an otherwise mainstream person to have Trans type feelings. These people may WANT to go back, or get rid of these added tendencies. I have ALSO heard that many of them successfully changed their lifestyles, habits, and desires to lead mainstream lives. If that's what YOU want...then believe in it, it IS possible to 'get rid of these feelings'.

Like a few people have already said here, though, maybe it's just you...maybe this is who you ARE and how you SHOULD be. In that case, there is no 'problem' that REQUIRES a 'cure'. The help you might need from a therapist is to be able to accept your uniqueness and live in a society that might not. Stress management, hormonal therapy, marital counseling...these are VERY valuable resources therapists can offer.

Many therapists simply don't realize that being the way we are isn't always a problem that needs solving.

I've been to many counselors in my life...dozens, in fact. I've learned to keep my distance until I've been able to figure out THEIR motivation. Some counselors look for the quickest path to medication, other's have a political or religious agenda (even if they don't realize it). Some, sadly only a few, are very open-minded and competent.

Usually my first session is me answering all of their questions...'cause that's what they expect. Their questions can REALLY tell you a lot about how they counsel. The SECOND session, however, is usually me asking THEM questions. 'How did you get into this field?' 'Why do you like counseling?' 'Do most of your patients find a medication solution?'

You need to get to know your counselor almost BETTER then he needs to know you.

Well, that's my two cents. (Or maybe a dime...that's a lot of talking)

Hope it means something to someone!

-Jessie "
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Reply #7 - 01/15/08  5:23am
" CURE? ROFL...Sorry but what is this to be cured anyway? What will they cure us from? what will this cure be or make us?

Here is a couple bits of wisdom for you. If you are truly Inter sexed or Transsexual then the only cure is getting your endocrine system in order for the true gender you are.

You can toy around with these feelings all you want but they will only get worse as the years pass by. This is why there is the 50/50 rule for those who suffer from this gender conflicted soul. 50 percent of T.s people kill them selves before the age of 30 because they found no help or could not come to terms with them selves.

Choose your therapist like you would choose the medicine you would put into your body or the doctor you would let cut into your body.

Not all therapist that say they can help you have the first clue to what it is like to be T.s and have NO EXPERIENCE.

I am not saying you have to transition but you have got to find some one who knows more about this then you do.

Just PLEASE BE VERY CAREFUL to whom you allow into your head! Think about that!
If you ever want to talk email me. I found my "cure" about 5 years ago and that's when I was set free to be me, Jami Maree. P.S I have a lot of information on my web sites too! "
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Reply #8 - 01/16/08  6:41am
" thats like saying theres a cure for gay. "
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Reply #9 - 01/16/08  5:11pm
" Yeah, I thought I was 'cured' through prayer and 'trying' desperately to live as a female. While I have 3 beautiful children to show for it, what's the point if I can't see them??? Anyways, after 12 years and 3 very abusive relationships, I am back where I started when I was 30.
So, no it doesn't 'go away' and there is no 'cure'. Just be happy with yourself.
And I nd everyones oppinion to find a different therapist!!!!! "
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Reply #10 - 01/17/08  7:56am
" I do not know if there is a cure, to be a way that you have decided to be or not be. "

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