Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) Support Group

I am so sorry about your loss. My son Curtis 3 passed away in April of 2008. We had a funeral and eulogy as many other parents. Honestly I think you should allow your sister to what she wants....because you dont want her to have any regrets in the end. Once its done-its done and she wont have the luxury of going back to do it again. As far as the nursery is concerned I think you should ask them if its ok. Our families offered but my Husband and I decided that we wanted to do it ourselves. This is all apart of this painful grieving process. Just allow her to do what she wishes and continue to do what you are doing by supporting her in her decisions. BIG HUGS to you and your family!

I would have done a full funeral with all the bells and whistles if it were any of my older children. I did with my Nicholas also. What many seem to think because it is a baby, they weren't here very long....and so on.
But really it is up to your sister. if she chooses to spare no expenses and go for the gusto, in the end it is only money....even if they don't have it to spend...you can't take it with you.

We did go for exactly what we wanted....The way we looked at it was Nick will never have birthday parties, school clothes, a college fund etc. Everyone around me felt the exact same way too, so everyone wanted to do something. My sister picked out his urn and had it flown in from Italy (and we are a blue collar family) but this was something she really wanted to do. Friends all pulled together and put on a beautiful funeral luncheon. If giving my Nick the mack daddy funeral is the last thing we could do....then really there was no argument.

I would really run it by her about packing up the nursery. For some, this is a good thing. Personally, I wanted to be the one to pack away all of my Nick's things. I am his Mommy, so for me, if just did not feel right allowing others to do it, but again, everyone is different. There are some who have never packed away the nursery and this works for them.

Really the best thing you can do at a time like this is sit back, but be close by. Listen to her, even if you think she is crazy, if she is not harming herself or anyone else and if whatever she wants is going to help her in her own way, then support her. She needs support more than opinions right now.