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Discussion:
my husband had a stroke minor one.
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my husband had a stroke a minor one. but it was a stroke almost three years ago.Our..Life has not been the same since. He has most of his speech back. but he can never work again. and he has still some trouble walking. Hes goes in and out of bad depressions.. has short term memory . permanent damage. and will never be able to learn new things.

Im 60 now he,s 63 , he had his stroke when he was. 59..
ive been careing for him. he gets in real cussed moods now,,


I feel so alone in all this.... I,,cry off and on when he can,t hear or see me. alot... Ellen
Posted on 01/09/10, 01:29 am
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Reply #1 - 01/09/10  5:49pm
" Feel free to vent anytime you need to, I've always got an ear to lend. I know for myself I can get into some pretty cranky moods as well, and not really intended against anyone, just the shear frustration of trying to get healthier. After 4 strokes and a heart repair since March, I have a long road to tow myself...

Best wishes... "
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Reply #2 - 01/10/10  5:33am
" Dear.. zeeNight G Im so sorry to hear that. Im not really complaining that much about my husband. I love him dearly. What I trying to say. is It saddens me, seeing him that way. upset. because he can , not react and or think and do things he used to do, He can remember , what he was like before his stroke, a full able bodied man still had a job. Control over his life. Now he is short term forgetful. His long term is in tact. ans he has most of speech back. and his left side of his face his mouth does not droop anymore. so he can have more facial expressions. His waking is sort of very very slow. allot more than would come with his age. 63. he leans hunched over. now. He does get moody and very frustrated with ME too. If i can not pick -up what he is trying to communicate to me fast enough now. and he forgets he asks me something. and he repeats himself alot. I do not get short with him. I respond NOW.. when he repeats himself. as if he never asked me the question. and at first I used to get irritated with his repetiouness. burt that would end up making him cry.. I felt so bad. So for about over a year now. i do not remind him hes asked me that question. or I have done that. etc. and he does not cry.. He can not help it . that part of his mind has been damaged from the stroke.. Now when he repeats also the same stories . off and on over and over again. also. I act as if I never heard them before. and that . makes him happy. I no longer tell him .. you told me that. a day ago etc!! I let him... I have had to re-learn ,, how to Handel MY re-actions... to him... so as not , to up-set him.. These things I have re-taught myself on how to respond to him.. So he won,t get so frustrated with me. and himself too!! It has not been easy.. but I re-adjusted alot of my- responses to the way he is now.. I do not like hurting his feelings.. over things he can not help!! So that is how ive had to re-adjust my , responses to him.. I am not go9ing to ever cry in front of him.. it would up-set him horribly if I did... So I stifle my tears alot around him.. It that important... I have to be strong for him... I hope I explained more.. its just that ,, re-adjuing myself has not been easy.. Oh he does get so so cranky! and irritated with me.. at times.. "
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Reply #3 - 01/12/10  9:36am
" My heart goes out to you... and your husband... It robs us of so many things. Mostly I just want people to treat me as anybody else, but giving me the time to answer, allowing me to keep up in my wheelchair etc.... It is very frustrating to be able bodied one minute and confined the next. To be trapped within one's own body is a terrible thing. I hope he is still working dilligently in therapy as that has helped me tremendously. Lots of adjustment for everyone... and going to take time to readjust to each other... Most importantly, you both still have each other! My very best wishes, and anytime u need to chat, feel free to holler at me....

Regards....
Daniel "
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Reply #4 - 01/13/10  4:47am
" Never going to holler at you. I know. yes. He does want to be treated like everyone else. He was almost himself again.. when the kids were here and his two brother,s over the holiday,s. He even joked and kidded with them all. None of us. especially me. patronize him. he knows this. Ive just had to learn to adjust to his mood swings because of this. I have had to change my re-actions. or it was hurting his feelings. and I work really hard not to hurt him. I never treat him like a child ever. i just adjust. My self to his moods. as I know how depressed he can get. Yes he is in therapy. He can walk better now only slower much slower, and I do help him. his left hands and arm are working better now. and he has most of his speech back now. He lost a bit of it for awhile. We the family was worried right after his stroke. he.s on medicine now, High blood pressure meds and cholesterol. meds.. Yes he is frustrated very at times. Not being able to get around like he used to. and he lost his job. because he could not work. I feel bad for him that way.. he did not want to retire at 59. He probably wanted to work til they fired him of old age, he loved his job.lol That if feel so bad for him because of it..
Thank you very much for even talking to me.. I really have felt kind of alone. as to am I treating him right am I adjusting to him? and am I up-setting him. Things like that.. I still love him very much.. even if he does get angry and frustrated at me at times.. God bless you!! I am up another night as he .. was having a bad night tonight... and my..arthritis is acting -up.lol.. I have nights like this.. God bless you again... Ellen. "
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Reply #5 - 03/11/10  9:43am
" I salute you sincerely, for your obvious love and caring for ur husband; not very many people can handle the after-effects of a stroke. I know coz my recent divorce proved it. You are amazing! Please continue to do what ur doing, for ur hubby's sake. May God bless you, sweetie. Please take care , andbest of luck to you.
Love always,
Annie:) "
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Reply #6 - 03/18/10  12:19am
" I was just going 2 ask this very question. My husband has had many strokes and in diabetic. He is 1 of the lucky ones who isn't very bad. He never lost his speech or walking. However, he lost his short term memory, has weaknes in his legs which makes it diffucult 4 him to walk some times. Especially any distances. His face is little droopy but he doesn't know it. He is so very moody. I have some health issues(just had shoulder surgery) plus we have a daughter who ha been at home sick 4 almost 7 yrs. I am the 1 who usually takes care of things that need 2 b done. So his yelling and screaming at us just doesn't help any of us. I do feel very bad 4 him. As he once was a Mucho Marine. After that he always worked very hard. I take that into consideration always. But the verbal absive is taking a tool on r daughter and me. Everyday he just goes off on 1 of his hurtful moods. Nothing I do is right. I can never please him. Yesterday he said I have treated him terrible since last August. It isn't true but he believes it. I don't like fighting. I like r house 2 b calm. Who wants 2 live in constant koas. I am cing someone I talk 2 plus I am on 2 anti-depressants. As I am very, very depressed. I can hardly get myself off of the couch 4 days at a time. I do just what I need 2 do 2 get thru the day. I did like the replies that u wrote. I NEED 2 VENT. THANK U. "

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