What is Stroke
A stroke, also known as cerebrovascular accident (CVA), is an acute neurologic injury whereby the blood supply to a part of the brain is interrupted, either by a clot in the artery...
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Motivation after stroke
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Hello all
My fiancee had a stroke at the age of 38 in March - it was pretty massive, but he worked very hard to learn to walk again within 6 weeks. His huge efforts gave me and my family hope that whilst he may not get back to his previous physical fitness, he would have a decent quality of life and we would have a good life together. Since then, he has done very little, mostly due to some severe depression and pain problems, which left him in bed for 4 or 5 months, not engaging with the physio or OT that was offered him. He now sometimes does physio, but not really enough. I'm beginning to get very scared that he will never do what he needs to to help both of us get the life we want together. He talks about getting better, but just isn't doing enough. We've fought for every new treatment we can, including better pain management, but he is still snoozing most days. I just got an email from his physiotherapist saying that he probably has plateaued. It just seems so tragic after all the progress he made in the first few weeks and all the great hope we all had. I don't want this life for him - but I also don't want it for myself. Hoping someone can provide some suggestions Thanks for listening Jane Posted on 10/20/09, 07:10 pm |
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My question to you, Jane, is - do you still love him? I had my stroke at age 44 and this is the 5th year of my recovery. I reached my plateau a few years back, but still try to hope that one day, I will regain my physical abilities I used to have. I'm right-handed, thankfully coz my stroke affected my entire left side. To this day, my left arm hangs limply to my side. My only suggestion is to simply continue to love and support your fiance; that's really the only motivation you can give him - your love and your support. Remember - he's not the same person anymore; this is very crucial. As someone who recently got divorced , I can tell you - ilife will be very, very difficult for you both if you're not dtrong or willing to accept him for who he is now. My hex told me I wasn't the person he married anymore anf that really hurt because to me, I'm still the same person, albeit, with some minor mobility issues, but, deep down in side, I'm still me. Hope his helps somewhat 
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Thanks AnnRam. You've made me realise that yes, I do really love him and I'm just going to need to be patient. We did go out yesterday for our anniversary, which was amazing, though I know it was very difficult for him and he did it to make me happy. Thank you so much for your words - you've really helped me and I hope that will also help my fiance too. Thank you for sharing your experiences - it sounds like you've been through a lot, but you're still you and that's great.
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you're very welcome, hopeseeking; that's what I'm here for - to offer moral upport, and, hopefully, the wisdom of my experiences and trials in life. You take care, and continue to love that man, regardless. You'll need your love and a lot of faith and patience. In the end, it will all be worth it if you both really love each other. Good luck and God bless you! Love always,
Annie:)
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