What is Stroke
A stroke, also known as cerebrovascular accident (CVA), is an acute neurologic injury whereby the blood supply to a part of the brain is interrupted, either by a clot in the artery...
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How much does sex mean to a stroke man
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I hope someone can answer this problem. It has been a on going BIG issue between my husband and me. He has had strokes, diabetics and a operation on his eye. I know he is very upset about these health issues. Siince the strokes his personality has change 4 the worse. I have been very patient with him for the past 5 yrs. He does have good days where he is almost his old self. He has always been a controling man. The strokes has caused him to say nasty things to me. Mostly about sex. He has gotten a med from his dr so he can have sex again. But the problem is he thinks we should have sex all of the time. But don't men know that sex doesn't start n the bedroom. For instant he will be nasty to me and yell about stupid shit. Then he expects me to have sex with. He will say if I don't have sex with him he will look else where. There 4 many times he makes me feel like a paid hooker. Because when I say no...he will say he has bought me jewery or spent money on me for other things. lI guess this comes down to a few issues. First we have a adult daughter who lives with us. Neither 1 of us feel we can have sex with her always here. Second because of his health issues he couldn't have sex for probably 5 yrs. Third I get really bad uti when we do have sex. I just got of the hospital because I had pyelonephrsis. I have been in manger pain 4 over 3 weeks. He think I am having an affair because we didn't have sex for so long. He decided that since I dlidn't with him then I 4 sure did with another man.Helistens to my phone calls( I therefore don't talk on the phone until he does to bed) He questions where I go, who I talk to, even when I go outsilde to read. He finds some stupid reason to come out to see what I am doing. I don't have a boyfried. One man is enough for me. As long as I am with him and he can watch my every move he isn't as bad. I am not having an affair and if I was I am not dumb enough to have a man call the house for me. He jumps to get the phone everytime it rings. I have told him a million times there is no one else. I have given him chance after chance since May. When he gets real crazy I tell him I am going to move out. I really can't afford to live on my own. But I am just so emotionly over this. The only time he is really nice to me is when we go on vacation. He is a different man. I don't want that to happen because we have been married 40 yrs. I know sex is the most important thing to him. I like sex too. But I just can't get him to believe me that there is someone else. He gets down right nasty if I say know. I would love your replies. I know this is a long message.
Posted on 09/08/09, 01:09 am |
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My hubby was always very loving, and , yes , very sexual before the stroke. He is on so much meds for this, and his heart, that he is scared to engage in sexual activity, but that does not mean that he doesn't conrinue to be loving, and compassionate, because he thinks it is something that I want and miss, but being 51 years old, and going through menopause, it is not as important to us as it once was. We talk about it, and have both decided that our love for one another is not, nor has it ever been, solely based on our sexual activity. As long as I get a hug, and see that beautiful smile every morning, I am content with life just as it is! Hope this helps you at least a little! 
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I'm no expert, but what you wrote here gives me chills; can you talk it over with your husband? Maybe check into getting some counselling. Sex is a very important part of any marriage, I do believe. So, if I were you, i would ask a counsellor who sees people all the time for these types of issues. Just a thought; good luck to you.My husband and I went thru this at one point during these last 5 years of healing I went through after my own stroke. He always told me I wasn't the same person anymore. We're now going thru a divorce and just waiting for the final papers for signing. I'm so sorry to hear about your issues. I was never as interested in sex anymore after my stroke, but tried my hardest to make him happy; obviously, that didn't work. So, please do something before something else goes wrong. Good luck to you
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how about suggesting to your adult daughter to make herself scarce every once in a while so you and your hubby can have some 'alone'time? just another thought. . .
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THANK U. HE JUST WON'T STOP WITH THE BS ABOUT ME HAVING A BF. I DON'Y KNOE WHY MEN THINK WE NEED SEX. THAT ISN'T MY MAIN THING IN LIFE LIKE IT IS HIS. HE WATCHES EVERY MOVE I MAKE, I GO OUTSIDE TO READ AND HE FOLLOWS ME OUT. HE WILL CHECK ON ME 3 OR 4 TIMES. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL HE THINKS I AM GOING. I HAVE BEEN SO TOTALLY DRAINED THROUGH ALL OF THIS. I THINK THE ONLY ANSWER IS TO LEAVE. BUT I WILL LOSE EVERYTHING. HE WILL NEVER LEAVE. UNLESS I GET THE POLICE INVOLVED. THEN IT WILL B A REAL NIGHT MARE. TODAY I WAS AT THE DRS PLUS WENT GROCERY SHOPPING. WHEN I GOT HOME HE BITCHED AT ME FOR OVER 1 HR. AND ABOUT NOTHING. I WILL NEVER GET OVER THIS UC WITH CONSTANT STRESS. I AM ALWAY WAITING 4 THE OTHER SHOE TO FALL. R DAUGHTER DOES GO OUT EVERY NOW AND THEN. SHE HAS SOME HEALTH ISSES OF HER OWN. SHE HAS BEEN IN BED 4 OVER 5 YRS. SHE IS JUST NOW GETTING TO THE POINT WHERE SHE CAN GO OUT 1 OR 2 TIMES A YR. HE JUST EQUATES LOVE AND MARRIAGE TO SEX. HE NEVER WAS LIKE THIS BEFORE THE STORK. BUT IT DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY EASIER 4 ME TO LIVE WITH. I HAVE TIRED AND TIRED. I FOR REAL COULD LIVE WITHOUT SEX FOREVER. JUST B NICE TO ME. THAT IS ALL I ASK. SHIT AS MUCH AS HE THINKS I HAVE HAD AFFAIRS I MIGHT AS WELL HAVE ONE. NO, I WOULD NEVER. ONE MAN IS ENOUGH 4 ME. BUT I CAN'T GET THAT THROUGH HIS HEAD.
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I know exactly what you're going through, as I'm going through it myself with my boyfriend. He's suspicious, accusatory, etc. about me and other men and for absolutely no reason. I believe strongly this has to do with the stroke. I'm definitely seeking counseling as it's driving me crazy. I would suggest you do the same. The best to you..
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