Stroke Support Group

Why don't you try Couples Counseling with your husband? Or a Support Group for people who have had Strokes? This may be helpful for both of you and strengthen your marriage. Pls. don't give up on your marriage and your hubby. I would advise that you seek out counseling services for yourself, as well. In all communities, you'll be able find them for reasonable prices or fees on a sliding scale. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

hi , lily8 I asked him 6 months ago. he couldn't the time or it was insurance problems it's always something.

Hey lily8 I am sorry I wanted to say thank you for support. I pushed the wrong button and it cut me off. Thanks again for advice. I will try again..
Hugs
Memieof3

You're so welcome. Maybe a trial separation would help you both to find each other again. It worked for my parents. They were separated for three yrs and will be celebrating their 40th Wedding Anniv. this summer. You never know where life will lead. I hope things work out for you. Hang in there.

Thank You lily8,
I hope a trial separation will help. thanks for your support.
Hugs
Memie

All the best to you. Hope you're doing well today.

my stroke happened 2/3/09 and i was married 4/25/09 i too am a nurse i totally know how you feel having a stroke is like robbery

This is going to be hard for me to answer because my brain doesn't work the same anymore. But here goes...I'm 10 years post-stroke and still married. The biggest obstacle was that I had to accept the new "me". I was different in so many ways but yet the same person inside. I also am paralyzed on the right side, but I just so happened to be left handed. Anyway, BOTH of yall have to be willing to work at the marriage to make it work. It is alot of hard work and lots and lots of conversations about everything under the sun.
In no way am I saying it's easy because it's not. I've lost many friends because they don't know how to deal with the 'new me'. But I refuse to let that influence the way I am. I know I'm a good, decent person that is likable.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's alot of hard work and changes that we never expected to have to make.
I would say don't give up and fight for your marriage. Yall can't let the stroke define what your marriage is, only the two of you can do that.

Bless you for asking this question. I have been wanting to ask something very similar (tried for four days....even started to type it a couple of times!) You have more courage than I do.
My husband and I have been married 5 years. Just over a year ago, he had a brain stem stroke that he more or less walked away from. If you met him in the grocery store, he would seem like the old person he was as there is very little outward indicators of his stroke. He has no paralysis, speech impairment or obvious deficits. However, it has stripped him and us. He has tremendous fatigue (sleeps several times a day), memory loss, limited movement (can't do many things....lift, bend, fine motor problems) he can't sleep at night properly, he can't travel far in a car or experience any kind of extra body movement, never drive and he will never work again.
Here's the thing.....as the spouse of the person with the kind of problems you are so courageous to talk about, I swing from being lonely, sad and angry (on my own as I NEVER let him see it) to being mad at myself for being so weak. He should have died with the stroke. What we have is so much more than what we COULD of had, but the change in our lives has been so complete, as yours has that I no longer have a husband, in the original sense of the word. I now have a companion, a friend, a housemate.
We have been able to talk about the changes, but I don't talk about my feelings which is why this is pretty tough to write (it has been up to 5 hours now as I do a little typing and walk away.)
For me, this is tough and I don't have an answer, just more questions. I guess the important thing is that you are not alone. Not by a long shot.

Right now I am in a simular situation. Although, I have been married much longer than either of u. My husband had a few strokes 5 yrs ago. I agree with u when u said we r lucky he surrived them. But he also has so many health issues that the strokes left to his body. He has short term memory loss, fatigue, weakness especially in his legs and speech problems. On his good days I feel like I have a husband but much of the time well....he is not. I have gone though so many emotions. From mad, sad, angry, nuturing and sometimes like a wife.

He was always a "mucho" man. Things needed 2 b his way. Which is of course the right way and only way. He is now so much more so then before. He is very mean, very suspisious( thinks I am having an affair. I am not) Wants to know where I am at all times if I am not with him. He gets mad when he forgets or can't do activities as he used to. I do try to understand. I have never had a stroke but I bend over backwards to understand how he is feeling. I give him chance after chance to not yell or b mad about everything. So far my words aren't doing anygood. Well, his drs, nurses and other family menbers have also tried. I would say he fights and/ or yells about something about everyday. We probably get along maybe 1 or 2 days a week. Tops. I have tried being nice, trying to talk to him about the issues, ignoring him, walking away, taking the blame(even is it isn't my fault) I truly have tired everything I can think of. I am now thinking of movinf out of our home of 30 yrs. It is not fair because I have done nothing wrong. I have to walk away from everything if I go. He will never leave. He has alreday said he will never leave. When, as in the past 2 days, he is so verbally abusive towards me. He calls me words he never used before he had his strokes. I keep giving him chance after chance. But my question is. When do I start thinking about me. I also have some health issues that will never get better with all of this constant stress. I do love him. It will be a real nightmare when and if I decide to leave. I will probably have to call the police to help me get my personal things out of our house. I just never know what the day holds...his he going to b in a good mood or not. When will the other shoe fall.

It is very hard to give someone advise. I think u probably should think more of yourself. Although, I don't. But I do know constant stress is not good 4 us. What ever u deside to do. I wish u the best. It is a very hard decision to make. It isn't just going to effect u but also your family.