What is Stroke
A stroke, also known as cerebrovascular accident (CVA), is an acute neurologic injury whereby the blood supply to a part of the brain is interrupted, either by a clot in the artery...
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He yells so much! HELP!
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My husband had many strokes and TIA'S. I know he has health problems but it is not my fault. No matter what I do it is wrong. I try to help. For instance today he wanted me to make out some checks. So as we always do..we sat in the kitchen...I got out the check book...he got out the bills he wanted me to pay....He has asked me a million when I am going to fill out the insurances papers...I said we did...He said I forgot...he said did we get anymore bills...No I said it is only the beginning of the month.....HE said well I don't know unless I ask...I say u know I pay 1/2 the bills and u pay the other......No answer....He said where is the bill 4 the magazine I wanted I gave it to u....No u didn't I didn't c it......He said where is it I gave it to u...No u didn't...Now he is yelling I GAVE IT TO U, WHAT DID U DO WITH IT? I am just looking at him. Wondering where this is coming from. So he is still trying to find it. Whatever it is. Because I have no idea. I do know he gets very confused and doesn't want to admit it most times. So he continues to yell WHAT DID I DO WITH THIS PAPER...IF I AM GOING TO B THAT WAY HE ISN'T EVEN GOING TO SEND IN THE CHECK. Now I don't know what in the hell he is yelling about. He is getting red faced and madder and madder. I got up and said I am done. SO HE IS STILL SCREAMING THANKS 4 THE HELP. This happens time and time again. I am at a loss as to what to do. I let him make a ass out of me time and time again. In public and home. In front of friends or family. He doesn't care. Just as long as He KNOWS IT IS RIGHT!. Do u have any suggestions?
Posted on 12/05/08, 12:12 am |
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Oh my,has he always yelled?It seems that there is something really wrong-mentally.He cannot control his temper,but the question is why.I'm sure that others here are way more knowledgable in this area,but I'm sure thatstroke damage can cause severe personality changes.I think you let him make an ass out of you b/c of the guilt,of him being sick.You are also the type of person who does not like conflict,and would prob rather walk away,with him seeing it as weakness.Is he co-herent enough to know what he is doing to you?You are not well yourself,and I know all this does not help.You deal with it well,leaving room ,house,shopping etc.But you are being way too hard on yourself.This may sound harsh but if he does know what he's doing,and is just being an ass anyway,I would probably refuse to cook special stuff,or do what he wants,and let him see what it's like without you.Let him see that you do have some leverage,as to how you will be treated.I'm not talking about being cruel and abandoning him,but maybe PB and J sandwiches and no more homemade cakes and pies.I say this ONLY if he is coherent because you said he has always been this way.You are a good person and you don't deserve it.All my best-Jen 
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im sorry you're going through this. sometimes with a stroke (as a general rule, moreso with one that affects the right side of the brain and the left side of the body) patience, and memory can be affected (which is what it sounds like from your description). people often report they have a "shorter fuse" before they get angry or upset, and if there are memory problems, it can be frustrating for them to try to make sense of things. my suggestion would be 2 fold... have you asked a doctor about it? they may be able to give him something that eases the anxiety a bit without making him really sleepy... or if part of the issue is that hes not sleeping well, they may be able to give him something to help that....or if its due to pain, they can see what pain management techniques would be best. my other suggestion would be to see a local speech therapist. they can work on his memory and pragmatics (appropriate behavior for interacting with people... part of which is not yelling at people obviously). i hope this helps. good luck!
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Jean, is he on any meds for depression? If not it sounds like I used to act towards my loved ones. Until I got help from a psychiatrist and on the right meds I'm sure life with me was a living hell too. Just rmemeber that he loves you and that he always will.
Casey
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