Stress Management Support Group

the past is the past and unless you have one of those men in black 'de-neurolisers' so they forget about some of the suff, then the only way if you feel you must, is cry buckets at funerals, get married to a GUY and become deeply religeous, then maybe just maybe they may let you back into the fold, BUT, if you want my opinion, then begin to realise that their opinion is not likely to change much about you, as it looks as though they have made up their minds already!
So you keep your feelings private and you are bi and you have other things to do with your sundays, so what! sure you could have done some stuff differently (who couldnt?) but i thought families are supposed to be forgiving and supporting (havnt seen much of that lately have you?) then stop trying to get their approval because you are not likely to be getting it no time soon, even if you are made a saint!!
Im sure they'd love you to fall at their feet and beg forgiveness, but i would hope you have some pride about you! I see many people who are unconsciously trying to get acceptance from others even though some are even dead! be true to yourself and get on with your life because spending the rest of it pandering to their expectations is gonna drive you nuts and waste your time!
Be the best person you can be FOR YOU, not others, and leave that beautiful hair alone, BE AWARE when you pull at it, and stop it! im sure you dont want the embarassment of wearing wigs and covering bald spots when you should have lovely flowing locks?
As we say in the UK, keep your head down and your nose clean! meaning keep on an even course in your life, and concentrate on your goals in life! to be frank, if they dont want to be a part of your life, then it's their loss, some people live to scorn, dont they?
Kiss who the hell you like, and do what you want on sundays but dont pander to them, what would you hope to gain from that?
This maybe not what you expected to hear but hey, it's the reality of life and people! I wish you every success for the future, whatever YOU decide to do with it!
H.
ps i dont mean to be disrespectful but for God fearing folk, they dont forgive like Jesus did, do they?
pps. hate is a strong word and seldom the case, i think its more likely to be some dissapointment, more than anything, but remember you can be dissapointed in them also, expecting you to be 'just so' and scorning when you dont fit their neat little image of how you 'should be' (whatever thats supposed to be?)

Hi Skittlx and welcome to the board!

From reading your post and since you are under the age 18 for a few more years, I strongly encourage you to seek guidance from either a counselor or an adult you can trust. I feel that at your age having a strong support system in place to encourage you to love yourself and continue your education is the most important thing.

Although you can't pick and choose the family you have and they may not always agree w/ every decision you choose to make in life, you can pick and choose to try to surround yourself w/ positive influences that will love you unconditionally and encourage you to follow your dreams.

Having been 15 once, I know how you feel and how hard it can be to fit in w/ a family that doesn't always understand where you are coming from. My best advice is to try to focus on the positive things that you have going on right now. For example, you mentioned that you are working on your GED. That's really commendable since you need either a HS diploma or GED to either enter college or most job training programs. Not to mention from being in the workforce myself, I can tell you from experience that there quite a few jobs that won't hire people w/o either a HS diploma or GED.

Lastly, I highly encourage you to not run away anymore as it won't solve your problems, but just create bigger ones that could seriously effect your future as you get older.

Instead of running away, I encourage you to use that energy to give back to your community. For example, from your avatar it seems that you like animals. Is there an animal shelter or a pet hospital in your area that you could volunteer at or even work at? Are there any community centers or arts or sports programs that you could get involved in? Some don't cost a lot of money to join, some might also have a work program where you could volunteer so many hours a week in exchange for either free lessons or lessons offered at a reduced price.

Lastly, I really hope that you can find someone you can trust to talk to. As humans we've all made mistakes in life and wish that we could have done things a bit different. Since we can't change the past, the best thing to do is to focus on moving forward and making positive changes for tomorrow. From your post it seems that you really need to work on healing emotionally and need to forgive yourself in order to move on. By finding the strength and guidance from a positive support system not only will you be able to forgive yourself, but you'll also be able to be good to other people as well.

I know its not easy, do try to hang in there. Good Luck! :D

Hi. I'm new here and I haven't even posted anything yet. But I saw your post and immediately thought of my own teenage daughter. You sound just like her and it breaks my heart so much. Obviously I don't know your parents or how they feel about you, but being a parent of a teenage daughter I can tell you how I feel about my daughter and I'm betting its probably the same as your parents.

All I want is the chance to love my daughter. I miss her so much I cry every day. My pain over my relationship with her prevents me from ever being truly happy. I don't care what she has done in the past. I don't care about the times that she has run away. I don't care about the times that she has done drugs or snuck her boyfriend in my house to sleep in her bed. I don't care about the blatant lack of respect that she has shown in the past. I don't care about any of that. All I want is for her to learn from her mistakes, have enough pride in herself and love herself enough to want a happy, content and fulfilling life.

I don't want her to continue to hurt herself just to spite or shock me. I want her to know that I love her more than life itself regardless of what she thinks she has done to destroy that love. That love will never go away. I just hurt because I can't make her understand how badly she is hurting herself.

As another poster said, the past is the past. You cannot go backward and you cannot change it. The only thing you can do is move forward.

If my daughter had written this post and I had the chance to tell her how to "correct herself and fix it", I would tell her simply to look toward the future and start fresh. Don't worry about the past because its already forgiven and forgotten. And if she'll show me the kindness and respect that I deserve I would be more than thrilled to do the same for her.

Your relationship is not going to change overnight but every small step that you can take will help your parents to see that you care about your relationship with them.

Simply start by saying good morning tomorrow morning. Regardless of the response that you get. If someone says something negative to you don't lash out. Your parents are expecting you to do something to shock them or upset them or disobey them. And they have probably fallen into the same trap as you... expecting the negativity.

However, you cannot control what other people do. You can only control how you react to them.

If you start on your end being more positive I'm thinking that eventually your family will catch on.

I'm betting that your parents probably love you as much as I love my daughter.

I can actually feel the pain that you are experiencing just by reading your post. It seems like you blame yourself more than anyone else blames you for any of the things you listed. It also sounds like you have done some of the things listed just to shock people. Unfortunately, you are the one that suffers the most in doing that.

They cannot show you the love that you are crying out for unless you let them.

And if I'm way off base you still need to make sure that you are doing everything you can to ensure that you have a happy and fulfilling adult life. And by getting your GED you are definitely headed in the right direction. Focus on your future happiness and let go of the painful past.