What is Stillbirth

A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus or during labour or delivery exits a woman's body. The term is often used in distinction to live birth or miscarr...

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Discussion:
Co Worker has practically the same Due Date
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A co worker of mine was pregnant at the same time I was and I really had no idea until After I lost Maddie. She was barely showing and I was huge. Also, she never told me. And on top of that I don't think I payed much attention. But today, when I heard her talk about her Due Date and her upcoming Baby Shower this weekend it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew she was due around the same time....but only 6 days! Ugh..it hurt me so much to hear her say that. Here is she is with her little Baby Belly and Happy with practically the same due date..and here I am with nothing. I had to hear about her Baby Shower this Weekend...same time I was going to have mine. I literally think she heard my "UGH" when she was talking. I had to listen to them for almost an hour talk about the food they are going to order and who's coming. The whole thing. And all I could think about was how alone I'm feeling and why couldn't that be me? I don't expect them to stop talking about anything baby related around me because she's excited, and she should be. But maybe they could do it quietly when Im around...That would be nice!
Posted on 11/02/09, 06:11 pm
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Reply #1 - 11/02/09  7:53pm
" i completely understand. my sons due date was nov 8 and my husband cousins birthday and part is on the 7 andi have to go to it and thats going to kill me "
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Reply #2 - 11/02/09  8:29pm
" I was pregnant with a girl at work. She was due a month and a few days after me. We are friends and we had a great pregnancy together, then Lily died and her son was born happy and healthy. Her baby shower was the day after I delivered Lily sleeping. All of our mutual friends were at the baby shower, but they all said it was so hard. I was in the hospital holding on to my baby girl for the last time, and then she was celebrating her pregnancy the next day. It was so hard. I still can't think about it.

I still work with her. I'm just starting to talk to her. We only talk about work. She doesn't talk about her son with me. I'm so sorry you have to go through this, but I truly understand what you are going through. I'm currently going through the exact same thing. Please let me know if I can help in anyway. Hugs-Heather "
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Reply #3 - 11/02/09  8:35pm
" I too was pregnant at the same time as a girl (her husband works there too) at work. We were both having the opposite of what we had the first time. Her daughter is six months younger than my son so we decided to switch clothes (since we were both done having kids after these pregnancies). Her due date was 8/31 and mine was 9/9. I had Lily on July 5th and she had Max on August 1st. She has her precious son and all I have is her daughter's clothes. I give them all of my formula and diaper coupons since I won't be using them. She should be returning to work any time now. Everytime I see him, I think about Lily and how much I miss her. It sucks. "
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Reply #4 - 11/03/09  5:54am
" Pain like this never changes. I can remember 31 years ago crossing the road to avoid speaking to my best friend because she was pregnant. I felt wicked and guilty and mean, but most of all lonely - bereft because my baby was dead Life goes on and there is new life all around us. All we can do is express our pain to people who care and understand, and try to deal graciously with those who are blessed with pregnancy, baby showers, healthy babies, etc. "
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Reply #5 - 11/03/09  10:22pm
" I don't think it's at all unreasonable to ask the world to just STOP! Really. Ok, or spin ever-so-quietly. Hugs sweetie, Sher "
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Reply #6 - 11/04/09  1:00am
" I am so sorry you are going through this. My boyfriend is actually going home this Friday to Australia for 10 days as his brother's son is due. It will be only 3 weeks after Sam was due and I just could not fly home with him. It is too hard for me to think of seeing Fiona in the hospital with a healthy baby boy in her arms, knowing that his cousin (our Sam) should have grown up with him. I wish I had the strength to go and walk in, hold the baby and say "congratulations" but she deserves her happiness and I would just fall apart in front of everyone. So I know how you feel, the harder part is that you can not escape it right now at work - stay strong - I am sending hugs and healing.
Pia xo "
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Reply #7 - 11/07/09  5:58pm
" I still avoid pregnant people and those converstations. I have only been to one baby shower since I lost Maris and I went at the end and left before it was over. I don't have any plans of attending any baby showers in the future. Avoidance works for me. It has been 16 months. "
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Reply #8 - 11/09/09  9:41am
" I was to go to a baby shower this past sat. But I was not feeling to comfortable with it so I chose to stay home. I know the lady will understand. "
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Reply #9 - 11/10/09  3:47pm
" I understand how you are feeling. There are three other girls in my office that are currently pregnant and I lost my son on 8/8/09 and returned to work at the end of September. Everytime I run into them around the office its very difficult they ask how am I doing and I say Ok and walk away and just want to hide from them. Its very difficult every day. And what I've learned is that co-workers don't get it. They think that you have healed and moved on, but we know that is not the case. "

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