Stillbirth Support Group

June 24th,2009 at exactly 12:16 am, my son was born with his wings. I was nine days away from my planned c-section date (I've had two previous c-sections). I'll remember everything about that previous night for the rest of my life. The lack of movement leading to an ultrasound that led to my doctor coming into my quiet room and announcing my son's death. Asking me moments afterwards if I wanted to get a tubal during the c-section that would produce my angel. Telling me that his death was probably partially caused by my weight.
I remember having to call my husband who was home with our two girls and tell him that his son wasn't ever going to take his first breath. I remember when I was released from the hospital having to come home to my girls, my youngest still asks when baby brother is coming home and asks why the angels took him from us.
There are no support groups in my area and without medical I've been battling my postpartum depression, ptsd as well as anxiety on my own. His death certificate reads that my weight was the inital cause followed by the cord being wrapped twice and 50% of my placenta being dead. And although i try to tell myself it was not my fault, the proof is in pen on that piece of paper. Needless to say it has been a rough couple of months. I have a picture of my son in my photos but I've limited it to only friends (due to issues on Facebook where Angel babies images are being misused).
Posted on 10/26/09, 08:10 am