Step Families Support Group

I know exactly how you feel! My SD has been moved out for almost a year and every time I see her, hear her voice, or see her calling I get so sick to my stomach. I sure hope it goes away but I'm not sure that it will. If you figure out the secret to this let me in on it. Good Luck and God Bless!!

I certainly relate to this nausea feeling as well when my husbands children come around. My husband and I are living alone in our home now. His 17 yr old son lives in Indiana with my hubby's sister and going to school up there (11th grade). He did not want to come back home with us after the summer. (blessing for me). I am hoping and praying that time will make things better.

Just had a great weekend with my husband then off goes his phone and guess who is was??

Guess I had to come back to reality sometime. Ever wish your stepchild would just move to a convent in the Himalayas permanently?? LOL!!

I can't say that about SK, but I get that way with BM. It's gotten better because I've removed myself from the situation as much as possible. I think that will probably be the best thing for you too.

Don't look at your DH's phone and don't answer it. It will eliminate you knowing if she's calling. If you know he's talking to her and it bothers you then find something to occupy your mind or go for a walk. It does help eventually. :)

I understand 100% where you are coming from. Whenever my SS or his mother calls, I feel a sense of anger. I have been known to even take the phone off the hook. Horrible - I know.

For the most part neither one call the home anymore - just his cell phone. I no longer look to see who calls his cell phone and find myself leaving the room, just in case.

So happy to see I am not the only one with these feelings.

Lord, no-you're not. Knowing she's texting her dad or calling the house justs makes me want to vomit.

I understand exactly how you feel. Whenever my SD would call I would instantly get a rapid heartbeat and hesitate to even answer. I knew it would be something she wanted or some demand from her mother or she would be fake towards me- which I hated and I could see right through it!
But, then I wrote my first novel. It was based off my experience as a SM. When i went on interviews or people questioned me about my book, I realized, I can't jeopardize my family by making negative comments or giving negative messages all the time. I already told my negative experiences in my book. So I PRAYED for God to help me in my interviews. He has helped me to change my negative thoughts to positive ones. Mostly, because I believe we learn about ourselves more from these negative situations. But its up to you to make it "work" for ya! Now, my DH supports my novel and interviews. He goes with me to book events. My SD is aware of the book but I don't think she's read it. (If she did she may be offeneded anyways) Oh well, I will just let her know how I felt. But I had to force myself to respond positively towards her. To relax when she was around. Knowing that I had no ill wishes for her. I just want my family to be happy. Sorry so long in your post. Now my SD moved down south. Unbelievably, I had mixed feelings about it- "yeah" and "wow, she's gone". But everytime she calls or writes I still cringe a little, then I have to verbally tell myself "Be Positive". I don't want to wallow in my pain anymore and I believe that I liked that "place" before and that was why I couldn't stand her because my feelings were making it worse. I can honestly say I am headed in a more positive direction. (Things aren't perfect) But I don't want to cultivate negative vibes on my family no more. So I turn my thoughts around regardless of what it is... Again, sorry so long... (FYI- www.stepmother-chronicles.com)

Everytime I see or hear from the BM & any of the kids instant Nausea! I don't know how to stop it either. I just wish I never got in the situation but now it's life I guess.

You are so not alone!!
I haven't totally gotten over it. I am convinced she is a pathlogical liar and the most selfish person I have ever met. Anyone would be crazy to let emotional barriers down when dealing with someone like that.

But I dread the day she maipulates him in to asking if she can come back. I try to figure out if I can really say if she comes back, I go. I'm 99.5% sure he'd pick me but I don't know if the ensuing resentment would eat away at our marriage.

It's like she's lurking on the fringes of our happiness like a dark cloud....

Exactly!!! My SD is the same exact way-maybe they are related!!

That's one the biggest things I dread too-that she may want to move back into our house. The last thing I need is for her back her and turning it into her personal brothel, again. But when I hear my husband talk to her on the phone about how much they miss each other, I can't help but wonder if that's not on their minds. It's not like she lives that far from us-she's just 20min down the road w/his mother; in fact, she lives in the same town that his job is in. All she has to do is drive over to his job 5 min away to see him. They go out to eat together, too-they even went away for a weekend together. It's not like they don't have contact with each other.