Sleep Problems - Childhood Support Group

Hi! My son is 8 and we're having sleeping problems. We also use Melatonin and have for quite some time now. He is a hyper child and has been diagnosed recently has "possibly" being ADHD, but he is Bipolar as am I. He has never been one to sleep good since the day he was born. Sometimes he will sleep like he is in a coma, not moving throughout the night, etc. Other nights, he is kicking, flinging his arms, one minutes his feet will be on your head, then he will be sideways (I have had bruises all over my stomach and ribs) and them he will be straight again. He has always slept with me as I was a single mother when he was born and did not marry until he was right at 5 years old. He didn't sleep with us when we first married, but my husband now works graveyard and I can no longer work and am on disability so when my husband works, my son would sleep with me and when my husband was would be off, my son would sleep with him. Well, after the last time that he slept with me (about two weeks ago), I told him that next day, NO MORE. I felt like someone had beat the living you know what out of me. He busted my lip by flinging his arm over my face while I was sound asleep, I ended up with bruises all over me and I am post-op 5 months surgery on my right shoulder and 4 months post-op surgery on my breasts (2nd surgery to finish what was started a year ago to reduce and remove fybroids) so I really didn't need a wrestling match every night. His Psychiatrist has him on medication, which we just started and are increasing slowly for the Bipolar, and we're hoping it will help with the sleeping. Some times he will crash as soon as he gets home from school and not wake up until the next morning to get ready for school. Some times we have to fight to get him in bed by his 9:30 school betime and then he might wake up at 1:00 a.m. or so and watch TV in his room or get on his computer until time to take a shower at 6:30 before eating breakfast before going to school. On the weekends, he will go to bed around 2:00, 3:00 in the morning and then get up at 2:00, 3:00 in the afternoon...It is driving me crazy. I have no idea how to regulate his sleeping. Any ideas that anyone has is greatly appreciated.

Does he exercise? It seems as though you should look for natural solutions. Your doctors quickly jumped to un-natural solutions. Medicating an eight year old is questionable. Have you had a sleep study done? If not, get one done before you give him drugs.

I have night terrors. They come from abuse. But I also have 3 sibs that are like your son. I've seen them all diagnosed with ADD and ADHD or both. The truth was that no one physically played with them enough. The truth was their teachers didn't know how to teach boys. They told my Mom that my brothers needed to sit quietly and learn the school's way, or its medication. My mom exploded. Now we are in private schools and not really ADD and/or ADHD and our schoolwork is A's, B's, and C's.

First, a little background: My problems started in February 1998. I only usually had one a week and it would last from 5-25 minutes. Mine were so bad that I ended up refusing to sleep anywhere but in my parent's bed. After about two weeks of no sleep I did extensive research test at our hospital. I was a "Guinea pig." Nothing dangerous, just a lot of trial and error.

My cure for sleeping:

* Stress plays a major factor in bad sleep. If you go to bed later than normal, have a busy, event filled evening, or you don't have a nap or at least a rest time during the day, this could lead to a bad sleep. Try to devote an hour before bedtime for "cool down." They make me take a warm bath, listening to soothing music (Indian flues are the best), reading books or snuggling with mom and dad. Don't try to put your dude to bed overly tired. It sounds crazy, but the more tired he is the worse the sleeping can be.
* Heat is another major factor in sleepless nights. You may notice your kid sweating when he is having problems. This is common, however if the child is hot when going to sleep, it will be worse. We always keep a window cracked my room for fresh air. I dress light-weight, 100% cotton pajamas or briefs. During the hot summer months, I just wore a T-shirt. No feet in the pj's! I had several dreams when I was screaming something was biting my feet and Dad found me pulling on the feet of my pajamas. If your kid must sleep with a blanket, make sure they are not wrapped up in it or it is not too hot.

* We used a noise machine in my room at night. This is a machine that can be purchased at any major department store for €35-€75. This machine emits a steady soothing sound. This helps me transition from REM sleep to deep sleep. Again, during the summer months, the window air conditioner did the trick. These machines can have a variety of sounds, from ocean, wind, waterfall, birds, lullabies. You can pick what you feel most comfortable with. It is soothing for adults too!
* They gave us Chamomile. This is an herbal remedy found at your health food store. I have done a lot of research on drugs vs. herbs and found that herbal remedies, while not being as strong or quick to react, have much lower side effects and are not usually habit forming. There are many herbs out there for use in relaxation for children specifically. Again, with trial and error, you have to find the one that works best for you. It also is not an overnight cure. It takes about a week of doses to begin working. They gave this to me about an hour before bedtime.

* Do not give any kid Benadryl to help him sleep. This drug is for allergies and the claim that it helps with bad dreams is because the side effect of Benadryl is drowsiness. It is like an adult taking night time cold medicine to help sleep when they are not sick. You should never use a drug for the side effects.
* I also did a lot of research on aroma therapy. I found that lavender was very calming. I burned a lavender scented candle for about two hours before bedtime with the doors closed. I used Candle Scents from various vendors. When I went to bed, we blew it out. The aroma stayed in my room almost all night. During the day I used a light ring with lavender essential oil. This is a terra cotta ring that fits over a light bulb in a lamp. You put a few drops of oil in the ring and then on the bulb. The heat from the lamp heats the oil and fills the room with lavender aroma. Very relaxing.
* Never try to wake your child up during nightmares. Even though they may talk to you or react to what you are saying, they are actually asleep. They will not remember the dream the next day. My parents used soothing words with me. Like, "Everything is ok, mommy and daddy are right here, we love you", etc. Sometimes when that didn't work in calming me, they said they would try to divert my attention by asking me questions very directly like, "Where is the kitty cat?" or "Where is your iPod?" They tried to stay as calm as possible. The more excited and loud they got, the worse it was for me, they said. Try to adjust yourself to what your kid is asking for. If they don't want to be held, don't hold them. If they ask for you to hold them, hold them. Don't just assume that since your child is screaming they want you to hold them.
* Don't dwell on the problems the next day. Don't ask about what he remembers. This may scare him because he really can't remember, but your descriptions may scare them. Try to limit your conversations to outsiders about your kid when he's is there. Your kid may feel guilty and confused about keeping you awake which adds to the stress which makes the problems worse. It's just a vicious cycle.
* Also remember that pediatricians do not know a lot about this condition. There is no blood test to diagnose it and no prescription to cure it so in most cases the answer from them is that it is normal and they will grow out of it. I think that if more of their own kids had problems sleeping they would be more willing to help with finding the cure.
* Remember that sleep is nothing more then self-hypnosis learned from infancy. Its calming yourself into a trance we know as "sleep".
* All of these things in combination helped in "managing" me. There is no cure, it seems. I have not had any since late September. They have stopped the chamomile, lavender and noise machine. They do make sure I have a rest time during the day and calm evening and I still dress lightly and use a light cover.

My problems are called night terrors because I walk, talk, even run and scream when I have one. I have had accidents. But that is normal for me. If you only have nightmares -- count yourself lucky. Still all this stuff we have dome for me can help you and your nightmares.

* I never watch Tele after 7pm or play electronics.
* Try to limit your internet to boring reading. No blinking lights or strobes.
* No techno, rock or hyper music. Soothing indian flutes works.
* Definitely no meats ( I know you are a veggie.) especially beef.
* No sports drinks. They have potassium nitrates in them.
* No chocolates.
* No arguing with anyone 2 hours before sleeping. (I still get away with a lot.)
* Meditate 15 minutes before sleeping.
* No dealing with psychological issues 1 hour before bed.

I hope he sleeps better. :)