Single Parenting Support Group

my advice would be to let him abandon your unborn child until he is clean and sober and stays sober. if hes trapped you against walls , throws things around ect, just think what he can do to your innocent infant. your priority is to protect your child no matter what. i think that a alcoholic and crack addict is not a very good example for your child.

For the saftey of your child I would keep him away.

I agree with the others, and I don't think you could ever feel happy or comfortable letting your baby be in that sort of environment. If he is that serious about being part of the babys life then let him prove it by getting himself clean and sober first.

i dont mean to sound harsh so please dont take offense to this. what are you even debating this for?? why would you want your child around this man, father or not? he is abusive mentally, verbaly, and phisically. what if while he was throwing things at you he accidentally hit your baby? hunny listen to me, as long as he is on drugs he wont stop! my husband which i left 3 months ago is a crack addict and pill head! it took me months to realize that i couldnt "save" him and that by me staying with him i was allowing him to treat me poorly. also, i was enabling him and he knew he had control over me until i left. we have an 18 month old daughter and i had to make the choice to do what was right for her. addicts will do whatever they have to in order to get more drugs. they dont care who they hurt and if he has been violant to you while you are pregnant he is a coward as well as a drug addict. i speak from months and months of experiance. my husband sold EVERYTHING we had to get more crack. he sold his daughters bed! he was verbaly and mentally abusive and wound up writing over $14,000.00 in bad checks, breaking into a home and stealing stuff, making fake checks and forgery. (all for drugs, he has done alot more than that too) i am in the support group on this web site called "families and friends of addicts" i think you should join if you havnt already. trust me, i know the pain of leaving your spouse. i thought i was going to die without my husband, but everytime i looked at my daughter i knew she deserved a better life! not only should you protect your child from growing up around drugs, you need to think of what could happen if children services find out whats up. if a drug raid happens or if they find out your child is in a home with drugs they can take your baby and you have to fight to get back custody back. again, im speaking from experiance! its never good for a child to grow up without a father however, thats better than growing up with an abusive addict! in my case i left because i wanted my daughter to grow up in a stable home where she will see how you should and shouldnt treat your spouse. if i stayed with my hubby who is an addict and chooses drugs over his family and is abusive than i am teaching my daughter that thats ok! children learn from their parents and my father is a better role model for my daughter than my husband is. as for him getting joint custody, that will never happen. all you have to do is get the court to give him a drug test showing he is a drug addict, get a restraining order on him due to his violance and there isnt a chance that he will get joint custody! again i speak from experiance, my hubby has another kid that he doesnt have rights to becuase he is a drug addict and the court is aware of that. he has to have supervised visitations.

you need to make a stand for you as well as your childs sake. most addicts need to hit rock bottom to realize they need help. in my husbands case its to late. he is looking at 10 yrs in prison because of his choices. be strong for you and your baby and make your husband choose which life he wants more! try attending an alanon meeting for yourself.

i wont lie, its very hard leaving your husband that you love but i promise the pain will pass. im not telling you to leave him but you need to do something to get through to him! addiction is a disease that is very dangerous and scary. your husband needs help! in the long run you will be happy that you did what was best for your baby. if your husband gets help and stays clean talk about fixing things between you.

i would be happy to talk more about my experiances with you if you are intersested. again im so sorry you are going through this, i know your pain! also again, please dont take offense to any of this, im not trying to be rude or harsh, i just know what crack does to people. thats why its called "the devils drug!" hugs to you and congratulations on your baby!!! good luck sweetie!

i just realized i kept referring to him as your husband. sorry if you arent married and i kept calling him your hubby : )

I wouldn't even share custody with him. He wouldn't take care of the baby when he is drunk and strung out on crack. I wouldn't even risk losing my child to the social workers in your area for a bum like that. You need to tell him he lost his rights when you pinned me to the wall and yelled at me and threw food in my face. No man is suppose to lay a hand on a woman, especially when you are pregnant with an unborn child. He isn't worth having him in your babies life that is growning inside you. That is your baby more then the fathers you are the one carrying it and care for it. I don't care what any court says its more the mothers baby then anyones. Like my kids they are mine not my ex's they just have his name and that is it.