What is Single Parenting
A single parent is a parent with one or more children, who is not living with the child[ren]'s other parent. The legal definition of single parenthood may vary according to local l...
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My (almost) 3 year old daughter wanted her dad to pick her up from childcare today. When I picked her up she cried and explained that she wanted to give her dad a cuddle. Her dad and I have been living seperately for 8 months, with irregular contact... difficult at best. I tried to explain that her dad was probably still at work or having a rest....
My request is for advice on what to say to her. I don't want to lie but don't know how to explain things to her. I eventually told her that I had a cry the day before because I missed her dad too. I said that once I got it out I felt better. She seemed to calm down after that but it didn't sit right with me. I want to tell her #$@! what a @$%!#$ he is... no I don't! I want to find a way to explain that he/we are not in regular contact... try to explain that we are not able to be in regular contact...? help? It just sucks...:-( Posted on 08/04/09, 07:08 am |
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Yeah, it sucks. =)
I don't know that there is much if anything at all you can tell her that she will understand. If it were me I would just continue to say what you told her, he's at work or simply that you just don't know where he is. She is going to be upset and she's going to cry when she wants to see him and he isn't there. You can't change that. Remember to try not to speak negative about him, name calling etc. and also remember that she is only almost just 3 ~ they want what they want, when they want it and your explanations may not even matter. I wish I had better advice for you, but I do hope (and know) it will get better. 
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Hi I know what you are going through the father of my child has been very inconsistant with the visitation throughout her growing up. Your daughter is going to need you to be the consistant parent, the one that keeps all her promises , especially if the daddy is going to be treating her like this. Just remember that as long as she has you and you are doing everything you can do for that little girl. That is all that you can do. Don't worry with what he is doing wrong , concentrate on what you can do. I send you positive thoughts and encouragement okay? god bless
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Keep reassuring her that daddy loves her. The little excuses you make for him are ok. It is good you opened up and let her share her feelings with you. Acknowledging her feelings and allowing her to express them is the best thing you can do for her and yourself!! {Definitely don't go and tell her what you really think about him! :) } He is making it difficult by his choice to have limited contact, not your fault or your daughter's. I used to tell mine, "Daddy is busy and when he gets the time, he will call you and spend time with you." If you can, and she is willing, dial his number, hand her the phone when he answers... let her ask him when she can see him! (It always worked for mine... and then HE had to come up with the excuses.... and deal with the guilt!) If he continues to be too busy to be with her... and constantly has excuses or no reply, eventually, she will see him for who he is, and form her own opinions.
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I would just tell her that her daddy is probably busy at work and couldn't get the time off to come pick her up. She is at the age where she doesn't understand what is going on. Just tell her that her dad still loves and one day you can spend time with him.
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