Single Parenting Support Group

The only guys I have ever let be around my kids were called friends. There have only been 2 that have done anything with my kids or met them but my kids just went with it. I did get serious with one guy, he would stay over sometimes and occasionally we would stay at his place. It didn't work out and I had to have a talk with my kids when we ended the relationship. You will figure it out - I believe in being honest and allowing my kids to ask questions. But you will find what works for you.
My philosophy, you are allowed to have friends guys and girls. What's wrong with letting your kids know that it's normal?

I had the predictable 're-bound' relationship about 2 yrs ago. I kept it completely from the kids b/c I didn't want them to get attached to someone before I was sure how attached I would become. It worked out for the best - b/c in typical fashion, re-bound guy was just a slight variation from ex and thankfully, I got out of the relationship relatively unscathed.

The only guys that I let around my kids are my family that are cousins, or ones that I went to school with. When I meet new guys and become my friend then I introduce him or them to my kids. Its normal to have guy as just friends doesn't mean you guys are dating. You need explain to them that you guys are just friends and sometimes you guys go out to dinner or a movie or both.

My daughter is 8 y.o., I told her I am just friends with the man I am dating, we hang out all the time, and I tried to introduce the idea that we were dating, she freaked out, she says she doesn't like him now and she wants nothing to do with me if I "date" him. I regret not being up front once we all started hanging out. I agree that until you are sure you want a man to hang around long term don't bother introducing children...just say you are going to a meeting or something for work?...

It really depends on how old your kids are. My kids were 5 and 7 when I met my now boyfriend. I had dated a couple guys before, but never introduced them. My current boyfriend, who from the start seemed like the one. I probably would have waited to introduce after a couple of months, however, being the holidays( I met him in Oct. went on our first date nov. 1) And he so wanted to make their christmas special. Which he did.
The reason I say this is my children have had no real father. well they do, but he doesn't act like a real father. My boyfriend on the other hand is a real father. I wouldn't have wanted to get their hopes up. They love him and want him to be their real dad.
This being said if the relationship doesn't work out in the end it would be harder for your kids then you to say goodbye. harder for them to trust the next guy, and therefore, harder for them to develop a relationship with him. Wait until it looks like a good possibilty it will work out.

My advice is to not introduce the "new guy" to your little one(s) until you know for sure he's a keeper (someone who shows committment and not flake out right away). You will get attached, but also your child will too and if he flakes out then you have your child's feelings to worry about because he got attached to the guy too and now he's gone. I don't think that not telling your child about the new guy is being dishonest, you'd moreso be protecting your child and taking the right steps to see what this guy is all about.