Single Dads Support Group

Hi M, For me personally I think it's all about finding a balance with it all, find out as much as you can but don't overload yourself, make her your number one priority but don't forget how important you are and to have a life of your own entirely separate, this will help with patience and coping.
I think too, it's important to believe in yourself, despite any errors you make, if you forget something, so what? There is always a way to compensate and things your daughter will make the centre of her and your universe, probably aren't that important anyway and if she misses out, there's a very good chance it can be rectified later or she'll forget all about it.
Look after yourself, believe in yourself, make sure she's well fed, educated and cared for, the rest will fall into place as you both partake in the journey ahead, I wish you all the luck in the world on it...A

Hi M, l've been in this situatioon as well and it's been an up hill battl. l'm fully aware of the "fear of the un-non". But through prayer and accepting each days as it comes, all fell into place like a hand into a glove. My wife abandoned our 3 year old with me as she had initial custody and skipped the counrty. l had to learn learn the basic mother tricks, preparing lunchs and doing ponytails. What you have to do and understand is that, your daughter is your luggage and you are on a journey, you will not think of leaving it unattended and it is your responsibility, no one else can replace you as the only parent at that moment.Week days and weekends will be circled around your daughter..and there's nothing wrong with that. Hope all goes well for you and treasure every moment you have with her. Andy

I don't believe alot of what people talk on the subject but I'd say first, your previous 20 year relationship was terrific and the daughter is essentially a gift from above if you will...
As far as the parenting situation. Always be the bigger person. If your ex is unreliable, still always give her the ability to see the child on your terms. Children need two parents and even if one is unstable/unreliable, knowing that you never kept her from her mom will be worth its weight in gold.
Also, not having to deal with an unreliable person on "co-parenting" will also allow you to instill the values and ideals you want for your daughter.
Again, see her as a blessing if you will.
If you have no support, perhaps it would be cheaper for you to have a nanny than it would be a partner you had to worry about all the time.
As well, more often than not, you can seek help from people in your area who want to help someone who's trying to do good by another who's reliant on them as your daughter is of you.
You're life is far from over, and/or freedoms given up. Children are the best blessing and being a father is the greatest accomplishment a man can obtain.
Dig in, there's a plethora of resources even at the library about single parenting for dads...
Put yourself in your daughter's shoes always. She didn't ask for the cards she's been dealt as far as choosing parents, so, always try and think of how her life would be without you in it. You're going to do a terrific job at full time parenting.
Hang in there.

The only thing I can add to the above is find a local support group. Go to the parks on a weekday and maybe you'll find a dad in a similar situation. (Moms are OK too, but might need more time before you can approach them.) Also, check out a website called parenthacks.com. Lots of good ideas on many topics are found there.

Finally, show no fear to your child. Fall apart while she sleeps if you have to, but in her presence be a rock. Kids like rocks, especially for climbing. My kid's got a grappling hook...

if you weren't concerned... I'D be concerned...

every decent single parent always questions their abilities and capabilities... its simply a matter of recognizing that it is difficult to raise a child alone...

the problem is when you let that fear overtake and overwhelm you... use it as a refining tool... it will keep you constantly learning...

and remember... children don't come with an owners manual... we all ahve to do it from scratch... but if you start with love and a genuine desire to learn... you will do fine.

I would just like to say that you should be happy at least that you have full custody, My daughter is 5, her mother and i have been together off and on for 6 years, They live with me. She left and filed for custody
and the courts gave her primary physical custody, even though she was homeless ( she moved in with her sister )
long story short we attempted to reconcile but she gets more paranoid and accusatory daily ( she was recent went to the ER , and is now Insulin Dependant type 2 diabetes.)

I love my daughter ,I have found that I have a patience and strength i did not know I had, until Adele was born.
My daughter loves me unconditionally. I will put up with the verbal and emotional abuse if it means I am with my daughter.
Or if that abuse ever goes in my daughter direction.
I have supportive parents and family who have helped me out emotionally and money wise in pinch . outside of this group, I don't feel o,k to talk about stuff ....I think you will do just fine, it was amazing how open other parents are with you when you daughter and theirs attend the same daycare....and uhm,,, you daughter will never know that you forgot to powder her but after getting a bath, She will love you anyways. trust me.

congratulation on possibly getting Full Custody. That is a dream come true I hope I will have in a month when I go to court. So, dont worry my friend. You have already achieve the first major milestone and in my opinion the most difficult one - the courage to get full custody. The rest can't be that much harder although I cant say I know as I'm one step behind you. What I do know is this question i ask myself: Without me, will she be better off? I have a large family support, but in the end, "I am my daughter's father". Only I can love, protect, and look out for her. So, just plan for the uncertainties - that is basically how I lived through the last 4 years. My daughter is 4 and she has given me strengths I never thought I have. You will find that as well. Remember, you getting full custody - something many fathers can only dream of with the court system we have these days. Respectfully......

Just the fact that you are concerned about her and how good of a parent you will be is a good sign. I think just keep you focus on what's best for her. Stay involve get to know other parents and don't be afraid to ask for or offer help. We all need a hand once in a while. Good luck and God Bless!