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This community is dedicated to fathers who are going through the parenting process alone or without the support of a spouse. Single parenthood may occur as the result of many thing...
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I am writing this on behalf of a good friend in the middle of a nasty divorce. His wife left him after all the money ran out. Her business put them in financial ruin and she has washed her hands of it. The problem is they have a your teenage daughter that has been fed lies by her mother and now wants nothing to do with her dad. She doesn't want to spend time at his house and when she did, never came out of her room. She tells him she can't wait until the divorce is final so he can no longer be her dad. This dad is a great guy. He doesn't know what to say. If he lets her stay away he fears he won't ever get her back, if he demands she comes, she says she will run away. Can anyone share advice?
Posted on 06/24/09, 05:06 pm |
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I have custody of my kids, but still went through something similar. My oldest was convinced that I cheated on his mom, and therefore hated me and me wife. He begged for a yr to live with his mom. I finally let him go and it was very difficult to do. Now two years has past and he is back with me. He now has absolutely nothing to do with his mom. He finally saw through her lies and manipulation. All you can do is be true to yourself. Dont lie to your kids, and show them your love. The rest is up to them. 
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I have to agree with relee, we need to let things take their natural course and allow our kids to find the truth for themselves, advice, help and love only counts when it's taken and kids of all ages will work out which they want to embrace and stick by/with.
Tell your friend he needs to learn to let go and trust his daughter, it must be very difficult but forcing her to make a decision is never as fulfilling as allowing them to make their mistakes and learn by them as we all have, I wish him luck...A
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I'll 3rd the other 2, kids aren't stupid and quite often will see how things really are, even if it may take some time, he just has to be honest with his kid and be there for them.
That's the thing with lies, is once you tell one you gotta keep lying to keep it going and no matter how good you are at it, you will eventually slip up, and it usually ends up with the party lying about other things to the kids, so they work it out pretty fast then. Best of luck to your friend, just tell him to be patient.
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