What is Shyness
Shyness is a feeling of insecurity that certain people experience while being among others, talking with others, asking favors of others, etc.
Shyness is most likely to occur...
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Hey,
being shy and fairly quiet people often take advantage of this, especially at work , like getting me to do all the jobs they dont want to. And because im shy i usually do, but it gets to the point where it relly bothers me and i get more and more stressed out then have an angry outburst. Has any of u guys experienced this and have any solutions. I know i should be more assertive and less of a doormat, but its easier said than done... Posted on 10/28/09, 04:10 pm |
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I definately have this problem. It is very hard for me to speak up for myself. Part of this is my insecurity about myself. You are right. It is easier said than done. Start off small. The next time someone asks you to do something you don't want to do just say "unfortunately I am really bogged down right now and am unable to help you." Today, I was going to train my friend on "excel spreadsheets" She said "why don't we stay for dinner." She offered to do potluck. But I was just so mentally drained I didn't feel like it. Instead of just saying "normally I would love to do that but tonight I am just too tired" I said (it was also the truth) My husband is sick today and I don't want your mother to catch his flu" My friend care gives for her mother. Her mother is 87 and just out of the hospital so my friend also needs a break. Her response was that: No, she wouldn't want to her expose her mother to that. I also tend to beat around the bush instead of saying a polite "sorry I am unable ...."
People do take advantage of us shy quiet people. The pressure builds up and up until we burst. Be persistent and firm with your answer. Eventually they will take notice. I really do hear you. It is a problem to speak up for ourselves. We don't want people not to like us. I just want to let you know that you are not alone. 
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Eek yes, I know what you mean as well. It can be hard speaking up for yourself, but when you do, it's liberating. It is a frustating problem.
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i've definitely experienced this, including with my wife. for me it helps to remind myself that i'm the only one who gets to decide what sort of treatment i am, and am not, willing to put up with. for me it's easier to keep it short, like "sorry but no" and then elaborate if i need to. i think you'll find they'll ask you to do their dirty work less and less as they realize you won't be so easy to ask any more. they'll respect you more too.
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When you're shy it's hard to be assertive, and most shy people can be very passive-aggressive and avoid confrontation. I have the same problem, sometimes i can be a butt-kisser and i let others walk all over me than it makes me bitter and angry at them. I don't know what to do about it..
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