Shyness Support Group

no, but its assumed. im the strong silent type... but i dont think they think im rude.

Once upon a time, a long long time ago, when I had friends & life was tolerable, my friends would drag me out to bars, clubs & all that wild & crazy stuff. But I was shy, couldn't look ppl in the eye, was quiet.......so my friends would be havin a good time & get hit on by guys while I was the wallflower. I always had low self esteem. So for the longest time I thought damn I must be fugly. But I was told later on by several ppl that got to know me & saw how silly & fun I was, that they thought at first I was a bitch cuz I was pretty & was being conceited. HA! They were soooooooooo far off. So, yeah, ppl have their opinions of the quiet ones.
Sorry! I got carried away there. LOL!

Yes...shy people do take a beating from other people's assumptions of them. Do you get that feeling when someone looks in your eyes and you impulsively look away, like your eyes are made of slippery Teflon or the same pole of a magnet?? =) I certainly do. My shyness got me into a lot of trouble with people who thought I was 'mean'. My insecurity makes me *very* protective of myself, so my body language is often 'closed' (by that I mean arms crossed, not much smiling, etc.).

I think people who are gregarious are used to people who respond to them in a gregarious manner. Because of that, they don't know what to do with people like us, so they write us off as 'mean' and gravitate more to people who are open like they are, which is human and natural. It takes patient people to give people like you or me a chance! By the way, good job trying to get better! =)

Yes, that happens to me a lot. I'm really shy but once the other person starts talking to me first I have no problem talking to them. I think one of my problems is I just assume that people don't want to talk to me or that they wouldn't like me.

Just recently but not to my face - so what could I do? I was at my brothers wedding and I'm not an extrovert but I'm smiley and pleasant but the brides step-dad made a comment about my lack of affection. It annoyed me but I didn't make a big deal of it.
What I've learnt that I am quiet and I accept that. Don't force yourself into being something you're not but also the more relaxed about yourself you become, then the more you will express yourself but essentially it's ok to be quiet. Some people don't like it. It's annoying and it can be hurtful - but so what? Smile more though, that helps :-)

The last time I was in a group situation, one person did just that, name called. Instead of just sitting there I fired back. In the nicest possible way, i told her to back off and explained shyness in a way I thought she would understand. The shy girl near, I didn't know was struggling like I was thank ed me. A proud moment.

The first time I started dancing(I got up because I was so tired of watching people have fun on the dance floor) was awful. I shook dance, but stayed up there. Now it helps me relax, stomp on the floor to relieve anxiety.

yes i have been called mean because im quiet. Im a really quiet person, and i stay 2 myself, but people think im mean or 2 good 2 talk 2 them. I don't think that at all. i'm jus really shy and insecure so i don't say much.

same problem here

YES!!! I am the exact same way! My husband told me, thats how people looked at me when we met,and still do! All because Im quiet!!!
I am a different person today, thanks to my father-in-law, when we went to visit him I would whisper in my husbands ear to ask him something and Frank (the father-in law) would YELL "no whispering!"
He did it so often I got used to him doing that and would start to laugh when he started yelling at me! Very sweet man, I wouldn't be who I am today without him!!!!!

cyn - good comment, good for you!

I felt bad at times because I pride myself on being a good person and I'm not stuck up in the slightest but to be called that because people don't understand is frustrating and hurtful.

It really helps that people have been in the same situation and how you've reacted gives us all ideas on how we can react next time or just makes us accept ourselves more now.