Sexually Transmitted Diseases - Female Support Group

hello everyone, i have no idea if this is the right place to post, i know many people here are hurt and looking for answers, but maybe someone can offer me some guidance...

i was dating someone who i deeply loved, and the day that we had sex for the first time, at my insistence on using a condom, he chose to rub himself against me without my consent. i asked him to stop immediately but he did not. "i want to play" he said. i pulled away and then he put on protection. then we slept together, and he has since completely cut off communication with me. he gave me an STD called trichomoniasis (have been tested for everything already, there is supposedly nothing else), which can be cured with medications, but it has wreaked havoc on my insides (indeed, 3 medications so far, allergic skin reactions to them, and still the STD will not die like it should). and my heart has been smashed to pieces. all my attempts to tell him he has this STD have been met with silence for 3 weeks. just a couple of days ago he told me he found my attempts to communicate to him about this situation hateful, insists he is clean (i explained men need a specific test for this STD, men are usually asymptomatic, and it is not a standard test), and he won't speak to me again.

the son of a bitch seduced me, used me, and threw me out with the trash, and is probably going to do it again and again to the next girl and the next.

i am so angry, so hurt, and in such physical and emotional pain that i cannot sleep. i have had so many panic and anxiety attacks because this STD is resisting treatment i have had to be medicated for that separately, and i have nobody to turn to. i want to punch him in the face, report him, do something to stop just how awful he has been, and to stop him from doing this to anyone else...

but there is nothing i can do. no medical professional will do anything other than keep trying to medicate me. nobody will take that diseased sack of poop and get him treated. he will just do whatever he wants to whoever he wants... god, i wish i could sue him for all the hundreds of dollars it has cost me to get this taken care of - money that was for my autistic son's school tuition, no less.

but i can do nothing except suffer in silence. people tell me to let go, to forgive him....

how do i do that?? how do i somehow let this disgusting "man" continue to do this, as i still remain in pain, remain in doctor's offices constantly.... how????

thanks for taking the time to read this.
Posted on 08/31/09, 10:08 am