Sexually Transmitted Diseases - Female Support Group

I think you just have to tell someone the facts about it. It is really hard but you can do it

I told my boyfriend while bawling my eyes out in front of Ingrid Bergman's White Christmas while my gerbils were loudly digging a burrow in the opposite corner of the room.

Telling the wonderful people in our lives about our little secret is probably one of those things that hardcore sucks no matter where or when we tell it--just choose the way/style that's best for you?

GOOD LUCK!!! My heart goes out to you.

P.S. I hope i am lucky like you! And get to have a healthy herpes-free baby. That is wonderful!

Last night I told some one I had HPV and HSV...we aren't sexually active and only just started dating...We were kind of fooling around he just triggered something in my and I just started bawling my eyes out....I couldn't not tell him after that whole scene. He was very supportive and understanding and although a little disappointed and had a lot to think through, he didn't run away screaming...it's all in who the person is and what kind of relationship you have. I didn't want to tell this guy until I absolutely had to, but he appreciated my honesty. Our personalities click really well and although sex is an important part, neither of us want to build a relationship based on that.....sometimes you just feel like it's time to tell even if ideally it's not the perfect setting. Just be thankful it's not life threatening

well.. im kinda seeing someone myself.. and before things get a little hot.. i told him.. that way if he wants to run he can do it now before anyone gets hurt... Hes not running.. he told me no one of perfect and things happen.. if the person is worth it he/she will understand if not then its not worth it.... i didnt know how i was going to tell him.. but my best friend told me.. just tell him and if he stays he stays if not then you know hes not right for you anyways. Good luck hun

That's a good question...I havent been with anyone for 9 years now. I have bipolar and herpes and those are biggies. But there must be some understanding, compassionate men out there somewhere. I understand your fear of rejection....and I wish you the best with your lover.

Just be honest. He will find out in time anyway. Your honesty will gain his respect.If he walks...then he was not the one for you.Having this virus does not mean you will be alone. It just means you have to show good judgement and take responsibility with your body and your lover's. I hope this helps you.

I would like to know how's dating and telling new partners.

Been there! But you'll be fine. It's never enjoyable, but the discussion needs to happen. I've preferred dating for a while before telling the guy. Keep in mind there's always a chance of rejection, regardless of having herpes. Once you've established a relationship and know that intimacy is the next step, it's time to share. I'm always extremely scared to bring it up, but I've never had a guy run away screaming. It's usually "Hey, there's no easy way to bring this up, but I have herpes, so in order to make sure you're protected and comfortable, we need to talk about some things..." And give yourself some credit. Pick a guy you really respect, and I doubt he'll react as you're fearing he will. Most people are compassionate when it's the person they care about, and crass when it's talked about as a joke. This isn't a life-ending disease, it's an infrequent irritation that you have under control. Research transmission rates and share that info (very low rates when using Valtrex and condoms). Also keep in mind that 1 in 4 women have herpes, and 1 in 5 Americans overall have it. This is so common, it shouldn't have the stigma that it does. Good luck, and don't forget the amazing qualities and gifts you do have to offer.

I've told men in my life about my disease, and one cried and ran, some tried to stay there, but I could tell that they were scared of me. I just don't want to do anybody the way someone did me. It's not fun having a STD, and to have one that is incurable is HORRIBLE!

I can relate to you fully I meet my Ex which is my daughter's dad when I was 20 there would be times he didn't want to be touched didn't think about it till it was to late about 6 months later he tells me when we where driving out in the middle of Utah. Shock set in, anger, confusion, helplessness, betrayed, it was like a big slap in the face.. He said he didn't tell me cause he "Loved me to much" and "didn't want me to leave him" Well no matter what he said there was nothing that was more devistating then not having the right to make that decition for my self.. But he took my life into his own hands and now I live with Genital Herpies... And I to also was freaked out when I got pregnant to passing it on to my daughter as well but come to find out everything is pretty much just the same without them except certain times when I have and outbreak. So now I am working on Having Genital Herpies for 7 years now and the messed up part about it is I just found out how everything really works cause my ex wouldn't let me go into the Doctor's office by myself so all I knew was what he told me and most of it was a lie... I also stayed with him for so long cause the fact of someone else wanting you just didn't seem possible. So there for I stayed in this life with him cause I was to afraid of the rejection with someone else.. So now here I am 27 single mom and have Genital Herpies its been one year since we broke up I couldn't imagine how to tell someone what I have it took me almost 9 months to get sexual with a man but when the time arose I couldn't help but think what is he going to think and react.. Well it was easier then I thought he was understanding and really didn't care, Well then the next one came along, please note I don't sleep around but its more like seeing the different reactions people have towards it, He also didn't care but asked questions, The next and he was ok with it keeped comming over all that good stuff then one day he decited that he couldn't handle it and freaked out. I couldn't feel to bad cause I was respectfull and let him know so he could make his own choice "God know's I didn't have a choice in the matter" but on the other hand I felt dirty, shot down, judged before he got to know me. Well after saying it to a few guys its easier now. I tell my self that as long as I tell them no matter their reaction at least I know I did the right thing by telling them and like my doctor said "What is the big deal" well like I said didn't know much about them and never had to worrie about spreading them and she said to me "If they really like you then they will be understanding and have as normal life as anyone else and if not then all well its their loss" cause like she said its not that bad of an STD like others that are always there. But you never can get rid of them thats the down side.. So be strong and be honest with yourself cause that is the only one you have to please and there is nothing you can fix now just get educated and move on.. I currently am in a relationship with a man that does not have them he has always been conserned about them but don't really want to hurt me by saying it, but like I told him in the beginging I have Herpies and I need someone that is willing to look past that and see me for me. There is more to a relationship then sex and as far as that goes just as normal as any other girl that don't have them, but you have them moments where you have a breakout but he has been patience with me and askes questions I have let him see web sites with info so he can be educated also told him there is a chance no matter what medications I am on or how safe I am with or without a breakout you stil have the chance of contracting them. So far its been 2 almost 3 months everything is good but there is that voice in his head that reminds him of what I have but with some understanding, willing to learn about the Herpies, and patience we can be just like every other couple that don't have them.. He has been great about everything.. So when it comes time you will know what is best for you! Your the one at the end of the day that has to deal with you so its all on how you want to be or what you let get to you that will effect you in future relationships.