Sexually Transmitted Diseases - Female Support Group

Oops! That's supposed to say, "On Pins and Needles After Telling Boyfriend"

I know it is really hard to tell someone. I am sure he is just looking up all the facts right now. I am sure he will be back. You just have to explain to him that you just have to be careful. I am here for if you need me

Hi. I was diagnosed a few days ago with genital herpes. I also had to tell my "fwb" (friend w/ benefits) that I was positive. I've been doing some research on the disease to find answers to oh so many questions. I read your post and I had to give you some "food for thought." A lot of people have GH and don't even know it. You have to request to be tested for the disease - it's not done routinely. He could have given the disease to you. The way it effects everyone is different. If you've been with him for any length of time, I wouldn't let him make you feel guilty or ashamed because you have no idea how you contracted the disease. Either of you could have contracted it from previous partners. So I called my fwb on Thurs., crying my eyes out (been with this man for close to two years) - not even a return phone call to ask how I am or that he scheduled himself to be tested ... nothing. So, whatever, I did the right thing by letting him know. At any rate, how did your BF end up reacting?

i wish i could offer positive feedback on this topic, but i've had gh for more than 15 years, got it from a guy i was sleeping with. and now, i am at home alone to celebrate my 13th anniversary to my husband, who i gave gh too before we were married. for some reason, he has more outbreaks than i do. and he blames me. (for good reason) but this is something that has slowly deteriated our marriage. 13 years of being the wh*^e who took away his manhood. i pray that your man is a better person than mine in that you wont be punished for something that cannot be changed. best wishes to you

Wow you are not durty because you had it and if he knew you had it and got it then it is on him not you. I am so sorry that you have been being abused because of it for years. Has he tried meds? Maybe if that helps he will be nicers. You do not deserve to be treated like that.

I don't know if anyone still reads this topic, but I am now faced with that fear of how do I tell the man I date (have not found one to date yet) and how do I know if he's not infected himself. I am serious when I say I am not having sex again unless I am married. I have not even enjoyed the sex I've had in the past to deal with this now. I am not angry about having it though. I just know that if I didn't have it and a man I am seeing told me he did...I don't think I would want to risk being with him. If that is my attitude, then what will be a man's towards me. How do I let someone get close enough to me without telling him I have this. I have yet to have an outbreak but from what I understand that makes no difference so I still have to tell him. I would not have dated someone with this, but now I am the one with it. It is a lot to take in.

fallnangel ... try doing some research on the internet. there has to be a counselor that has written an article or something. since 45 million of us have it, this must be a huge topic. i can't really offer anything myself because i just found out a week ago and i don't even have an interest in dating to take the time to look.

Wish we could all met up with tubs of ice cream and a good comedy to watch and bitch this out! lol

Thank you, all. My boyfriend said he felt "empty" without me. He came back and used condoms. However, I eventually told him that it was too painful to love him without being loved in return. He refuses to make any kind of commitment. I told him we're through. Although I miss him, I deserve and need to be loved. I'm staying strong. I'm grieving the loss of him as a friend.