What is Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Differ...
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As I have been on this journey of healing I have pulled together a tight, small circle of supportive friends. I know which friends I can lean on and talk to about the sexual abuse and I also know which friends I can't do this with. Recently my close friend asked me to go to a concert with her and I jumped at the opportunity. I thought I could rent a car and use the 2 hour drive as therapy. However, she also invited another mutual friend of ours, who I am not close with at all.
Our personalities do not mesh at all. I actually told her this a few years ago and she wound up writing me a letter a few months later requesting that we put it behind us. While I have no problem doing that, she seems to always want to know my personal business, but NEVER opens up about her own life. As a result, our conversations are always very shallow. Just to give you an idea of how "distant' we are with each other: we live about 5 minutes away from each other and have spent time together once in the past three years. While I'm not planning on the entire weekend being some whole deep soul-searching thing, I was planning on being in the car alone with the music turned up and just singing. I wanted it to be a solo adventure! I'm not sure if I should say that and risk looking like a jerk or just go (although I dread sitting in the car with her for a 4-hour round-trip drive)!!!!!! Posted on 11/06/09, 02:11 pm |
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be honest tell her u want to be alone its not like she is a good friend anyway. 
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Maybe you could leave town at a different time than she plans to, so you'd have to drive separately. Or you could invite a good friend of yours to go with you. That's a hard one. No one likes to hurt another person's feelings, but I know what you mean about wanting some alone time.
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I think it's important to be true to yourself. I certainly wouldn't spend 4 hours in a car with someone you're not really comfortable with....saying you've decided you want to go alone doesn't make you a jerk..it's just your preference. If your "friend" takes offense well then...that's her choice. Just do what you want to do.
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Thanks for the advice! I'm really working on being true to myself and standing up for myself. I was silenced as a child, but now I'm an adult and I can't allow this silencing to go on. I want to be alone and that's that.
I'm going to try and meet with her in the next few days over coffee or lunch and have a conversation with her. I'm going alone on this road trip and that's that! She can take it or leave it. Maybe she'll even be motivated enough to change and be a better friend.
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sadave gives good advice. you go girl! gotta live for you, not be a people pleaser.
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