What is Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Differ...
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Missing Counseling
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I wish that my Mom would understand better my wish to just forget things a lot of the time. Some days I just can't go to counciling cause it is just to triggering-I am not feeling very well physically etc-and the fact that when I am too triggered I tend to have more pstd issues or I space out and don't remember much-either way I usually end up spending way too much time playing computer games, eating junkfood etc afterwards just to make myself feel better.
I don't know I feel bad that I missed today's counciling session (especially cause we ended up having to pay for it-and I wasted the councilor's time)-but she expects me to always me to know how I am going to feel from day to day. She wants me to go back to the Sexual Assault Centre of Edmonton (SACE) cause they offer free counsiling sessions there. The only reason why I don't go there anymore is because I seem to have found a councilor that works for me (even though she is in private practice). I really like this counsilor-but I wasn't feeling like I really wanted to go today and have had a couple of people warn me about having a private counsilor-so I guess I've wanted just some time to think about it. Sorry-I didn't mean for this to be confusing -I just wanted to vent. Posted on 11/02/09, 09:11 pm |
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i know what u mean, im very nervous about wed especially since i copy and pasted my last two journal entries off here and sent them to her email. now im going to have to talk about it and go home and i will be by myself till my hubby comes home :( 
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now i understand why i never wanted to go to counseling for so long. It's tough! I waited 30 some years to get one. It will always be a work in progress. Be easy on yourself. It's really a trust issue! It's so hard to trust people. we are not as confused as we think we are. we just have a lot of emotions to deal with. we can only do it one step at a time.
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I hear you and totally understand where you are coming from. I also see a private counsellor, however I also drive 4 and a half hours every other week just to see her. For me the desire not to waste the money to travel to Abbostford by missing an appointment was enough if an incentive to not just miss an appointment.
If i had my way I might cancel my appointment this Wednesday because my husband is coming with me and I know my counsellor is going to push the "sex" button while he is with me. One of the last big hurtles/anxieties I need to face. Eventually you may get to a place of wanting to go see your counsellor, yet in the mean time have compassion on your self. Choosing healing and health is hard and scary. Hugs, Leanne
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