Sexual Abuse Support Group

i can understand. sometimes it's just a touch, like someone brushing up against you, or someone you love trying to touch you. i used to be such a touchy-feely kind of person, but now, it's revolting sometimes. it's really hard not to just lock yourself away to try and prevent yourself from revisiting those memories, but it'll keep happening, even when you're isolated.

have you tried any therapy at all?

I definitely know what that's like. I feel dirty almost all of the time. I've tried to scrape the dirtiness off with a blade. I've dreamed of skinning myself just to get the dirtiness off. I hate it.

Your not dirty, it wasn't your fault, it happened long ago you had no control over it, I am sending you tons of clean sunshine.
I will keep the sunshine always shining in your dirrection,
I will continue to keep you in my prayers

{{{hugs}}}
Michael

I understand this feeling too. It's really difficult, especially when triggered. Big hugs sunshine!!!

I'm in therapy right now, but we haven't even gotten to the trauma stuff yet....that will be at least a month away b/c I won't be seeing my therapist for a while due to my vacation and her vacation being back to back....

It's so hard when vacations are back to back like that

I understand how you are feeling...I feel dirty all the time to, thats where some of my OCD comes from, but as hard as it is we have to retrain our brains to know we are NOT dirty and it WAS AND NEVER WILL BE our fault, I know its hard to do, I'm still working on getting to that point myself

I am sorry I have no profound words for you on this topic. I do understand your feelings completely except I do not know how to cope with them or to alleviate oneself of them. The feeling of being dirty is awful and disruptive for sure. I remember there was a time in my life when I bathed 7-8 times per day because no matter what I could not shake the feeling of dirtiness that clung to me. Now I would say that is a bit of crazy on my part. I apoligize I wish I knew how to make those feelings go away. Maybe overtime as we deal with the crap and pain it just dissipates and we get washed clean by all of our tears.

It is so hard. It is everywhere. TV, Magazines, People dressed in skimpy clothes. Advertisements. I tried locking myself away but that will make a person crazy.
The society we live in is a horrible one when we are triggered by anything suggestive.