Sexual Abuse Support Group

thank you for sharing your story and your pain with us. Most of us here are actually alot like you. I was molested when I was four by a babysitter for about six months. We all have a story. Some of us have some recovery and healing.

I credit God for all of my recovery and peace and strength and hope. It certainly isnt anything i learned or came upon by myself. I gained everything I have freely and I also give it freely.

What you are feeling...emotionally, is a wound in your soul. Spiritual wounds are just as real as physical ones, only people cant see them easily.

IN janurary of 1997 I suffered a burn injury at work. I was burned over 70percent of my body. I was rushed to a hospital and recieved months of intensive care...several surguries and in all it took me over a year to heal enough physically to resume some manner of life as i had known it before i was injured. Physical wounds are easy enough to see and we know how to treat them.

Few people understand that our souls can also be wounded, and need the same critical intensive care as does a critically injured person. Well today you are here. YOu have revealed your wounds to us and we see a tiny part of them now. WE heal together, supporting one another and accepting support from others.

Your wounds have been covered many years. They have festered and rotted. The pain you feel is real anguish and I know it personally. Almost all of us have suffered similarly.

IN the healing process physically..we have to uncover the wounds, even examine the entire body to know just where it is wounded, spiritually it is similar. WE need to reveal and examine your entire soul. This is everything you feel and think, what you believe and dont believe. There is no right or wrong, it is just about uncovering so what your soul needs becomes obvious.

This can be done in journals, or writing and some of it you can keep all to yourself, most of it tho you need to find one person you can trust with everything. There is a way to recover. There is a path to not only end your suffering but to turn what has been done to you into a strength that empowers you to help others. I am here and I am willing to offer you everything I can to help you heal. Everyone here cares about your suffering, and many here are still suffering just as you are. The beginning of healing is love, love is also the path and the solution. I know that doesnt explain much to you right now. First consider all the things about yourself you dont like, and lets work on getting you to forgive yourself for all of them, and love you just as you are. Telling your story is a huge start. I welcome you here. I offered you my friendship I hope you will accept. I will not give up on you. I will not stop supporting you. I hope you can find some comfort and peace throu my words.

stevendc,

You said, "My insides feel like screaming out but that voice inside keeps telling me no one needs to know." But to heal it is important to realize that that "voice" is most likely the voice of the man who abused you; the voice that continues to warn you to keep the secret.

You've kept the secret for 42 years although I'm sure that secret gets acted out in many ways. One way it gets acted out in your life is through your false belief that says "...no lady would want me anyway if they found out about my past."

That is a lie, stevendc but I don't think you'll be able to hear me until you rid yourself of that sense of feeling dirty inside.

How? By exploring healing ways that work for you. Most find therapy to be an important way. And it appears that EMD-R (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) therapy helps a lot of survivors.

At some point in healing I would also suggest doing body work to help release the trauma trapped in the body. Craniosacral is a gentle bodywork and so is Myofascial release.

The work is hard stevendc, I won't kid you. And because it is, I believe getting support from SAFE others is important. When I began working on my healing I found a 12-step group for incest survivors.

Although group work is not for everyone, telling my story to people who understood went a long way to dissolving the shame I used to carry.

Another important piece of healing, IMO, stevendc is to educate yourself on the impact of abuse. Mike Lew's book, Victims No Longer: Men Recovering from Incest and Other Child Sexual Abuse is a classic for good reason--Mike Lew is a gifted healer.

It's time to heal, stevendc, you've suffered long enough.

xx
Suz

((((Hugs))))
Listen to the part that says to scream about it.
None of it was your fault.
The dirtiness you feel isn't real...although I understand.
I'm 39, there are people here who are in their 50's and 60's.

I don't think less of you because of something that's not your fault.

I'm so sorry this happened to you and the struggle you are going through. The ages of people on here differ greatly. I'm 54 and just started my recovery. You are definitely right in saying, "the hurt and feeling dirty never goes away". Welcome and I hope you find what you are looking for/needing here.

Welcome to Daily Strength. I am glad you came here to share. It take great courage to share a story that has been held inside for years. I found once I started telling others about being abused it lessened the shame I was carrying. I was abused at 4 and raped when I was around 9 or older by the man across the street. I had no one to tell. My foster parents were abusive so they were not safe to tell. How could anyone think less of you when you were so small at the age of 10. But I understand that feeling dirty is part of being abused. My hope is in your sharing at DS some of that feeling alone will diminished. I started therapy when I was 40. I am now 65. It is never too late to start the process of healing and here you have many who know exactly how you feel.
I hope your time here will be a place where you will learn that it was NEVER your fault. It was the fault of the abuser. He was the one who took advantage of you and also kept you in fear of telling.
I pray for you continued recovery. A therapist is also a place to start to express the anger, the rage, the sadness of being abused. Please if you go to therapy choose a therapist that is familiar with sexual abuse and the effects of it. That is very important. If one therapist does not feel good to you choose another. Bless you on your journey.

stevendc,

I am compelled to add another perspective about "The hurt and feeling dirty never /going/ away."

It DOES go away stevendc. When you come to know who you are and your true value, "the hurt and feeling dirty" no longer has a place in your mind, your heart, your emotions, or your body.

But, those awful feelings don't disappear on their own. You must find the types of healing that work for you and stay the course. It's hard. But doing what you're doing is harder--believing the lies.

xx

stevendc~

i am 19 years-old but i feel like im 50. i no it is hard for you to tolk about this and i no that you feel like less of a person when you do. trust me your not alone. i feel the exact same way and have alwase felt that way. reading your post has brot tears to mii eyes and i feel like i need to help you haw ever i can. so ill tell you mii story in the hopes that you wont feel so alone.

i was mulested by my mothers ex feonce when i was about 8 years old. he never penitrated me but he showed himself to me and i didnt like it. when ever he did he would smile and tell me not to tell momy and that he knew i liked it. but he wasnt mii only abuser.

from the time i was 5 till i was 12 i was sexualy,and physicoly abused by mii aunt who is 7 years older then me. she was abussed by her dad also but that is not an excuse. she would beat me vishously and told me that if i ever tol anyone she would kill me. i wasnt afraid to die tho and longed for it at such a young age. but i keped mii mouth shut to protect mii beautyful older sister. i love mii sister dearly and i would do anything for her. even suffer thru abuse. i just thout that if its me she wants then mii big sis would be safe...no matter the pain and humileation. she would be safe.

to this day i am still scared. all of mii physicol scars are gone but the mentol ones are strong and have caused alot of harm to me. naw i have an addicton to cutting, a multipol personality disorder, and have extream massokisom.
but...
i have found a way to heal mii old woonds. i have joind support grupes, ive stoped mii addiction to cutting, and am naw trying to help me and mii alters (other personalitys) live together in harmony.

and above all els i have found love. someone who loves me even for all of mii fults. he heald mii old scars and isnt disgusted by the ones i have made myself.

i beleve that in mii heart you can heal yourself. your a good man and if you just have the will to work for your self that you can find love aswell.

~angela~