What is Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Differ...
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what do i do....?
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so i just started dating my gf about 4 months ago, and i can honestly say she is the best thing that has happened to me. i love her and there isnt anything that i wouldnt try to do for her. we get along great, and we have a great time when we are around each other, but for a while now the physical side of our relationship has been a little sketchy. its kinda been an off and on thing, but nothing really serious. we have had some small fights about how im over affectionate, and well she isnt. long story short our last fight was a huge one and ended in her breaking down and telling me about how she was sexually abused by her stepdad for seven years. i know its gonna take some time for that part of our relationship to grow, and i dont mind the wait...especially now that i know what she has been through. but is there any advice i can get that will make it easier for me to interact with her, and help her through this? anything would be greatly appreciated.
Posted on 11/07/09, 11:11 pm |
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When you are with her do not focus on what happened to her. Focus on HER. Just talk to her as normal, she will hate it if you start acting different around her. And try and get her to talk about it but only everynow and then because it does help. Therapy. Be cautious of where you touch her, anything could trigger back a memory. 
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Be there, and constantly remind her that you are there!
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Three words...patience, understanding and support and lots of it. As a non survivor it's impossible for you to really understand the trauma she's endured. I'd advise your doing a little research on the net about the effects of having been sexually abused as a child. You'll probably be surprised by what you'll find. I'm sure she is the wonderful woman that you've grown to know...but this one area is a struggle for her...probably because she get triggered easily. With your support, patience and understanding, she can get through it....it will take as long as it takes. Believe me your understanding and support...genuine support will mean the world to her. Hopefully she's receiving some counseling to help...you might also refer her to this site. It helps a lot of people. Good luck
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