Sexual Abuse Support Group

The best advise I can give you is get into therapy immediately. And find a therapist who specializes in treating people with a history of sexual abuse. You are experiencing a lot of trauma and stress, which is normal in your situation, but if you don't start working on it with a professional, it will manifest in unhealthy ways.

It was not your fault.
You did nothing wrong.
You will grow to understand and believe this with the help of an experienced and sensitive therapist.

Hi
I would also say therapy would be a good place to start.
We have all battled with self-blame. This is due to the fact that abusers are very manipulative and will shift the blame that belongs to them on to their victim. They want the victim to feel responsible so that they are less likely to tell anyone what is going on.
Try to think about the situation logically. You were only 5 years old, little more than a baby. There is no way you could be at fault. Have a look at 5yr olds. See how young and vulnerable they are. Even adults can be manipulated so imagine how much easier is is to manipulate a child and the younger the child the easier it is.
What happened to us could happen to anyone and apparently does happen to 25-30% of children. We were just unfortunate.
Im not sure exactly how to heal from sexual abuse because I still have issues 12 years on. I only recently started having therapy.
What I do know is that dwelling on the past can be a bad thing. I keep thinking of myself as damaged and a sexual abuse victim.
It isnt good to label yourself or base your identity around your abuse. Yes it did happen but you are so much more. Ideally you can move on and lead a happy life and the abuse is in the background, it is just a bad experience that happened in the past.
Our self-esteem is usually low and you have to work hard to build it . You have to try to remain positive and fight negative thoughts because the longer you are negative the harder it will be to break this pattern of thinking as I know too well.
You have had a terrible experience but try all you can to not let it ruin your life. You have the power and strength inside you to overcome all your bad feelings.

yes, get help with it now. I waited until i was 38 to get a therapist. I'm now 41 and still suffer from it when i get triggered! we all think it's our fault somehow. It didn't help me when my mom blamed me for it. I was 4 when it started happening. when i finally got enough courage to tell at 6 years old, my whole world was filled with shame and guilt!
loving yourself again is key to healing. others can help guide you, give advice, but you must face those inner demons and put it to rest. Forgiving is a large part and protecting yourself. but you must find coping skills to deal with the triggers which can be lurking around every corner!

Being on here in the first place is an awesome place to start, but yes, I agree, therapy and counseling can be VERY helpful. The internet has a lot of resources to help you find somewhere to go in your area.
Also, I'm always here to listen if you ever want to talk. It can and WILL get easier, friend. You're in my prayers. BIG hug and tons of love.

annie924:

If you decide on therapy first go to www.Sidran.org and click on their help desk to find and read the article on how to pick a therapist.

Once you find a therapist that you feel comfortable with bring up the topic of doing body work. Both these avenues to healing ARE healing. Doing body work is most effective when you also have a therapist to hash out the stuff that may come up with the body work.

You may also want to look for a support group like a 12-step group to help you on this journey. Check out Sexual Assault Recovery Anonymous or Adult Survivors of Child Abuse.

Just take it one stop at a time. You will heal. And you are fortunate to be starting so young. I'm glad for you.
xx

i got into therapy.