What is Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Differ...
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Does this count?
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It first happened when I was between the ages of 6 and 9. It happened several times. He was 5 yeas older than me. Is it possible that he was unintentionally doing it? Maybe he didn't know what he was doing was wrong? Maybe he was just curious and needed to find out what girls are like down there? Does it still count if it wasn't rape? Is it possible that he didn't mean it and I'm just exaggerating it?
Sometimes, it feels like I'm making a big deal out of nothing. Am I wrong? Posted on 05/16/07, 06:05 am |
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If it hurt you - which it obviously has - then it counts.
If it was unasked for, unwanted - which at that age it was - then it counts. So what if he was curious. Other people are not play things or experiments. If it was hidden or secret, then he knew it was wrong. Doesn't matter it wasn't 'rape' it was abuse. Your feelings are valid. You are valid. You are important. You feel what you need to about it. Talk it out, get some counselling, confront him if you think you can and it would help you move on. I will help you if I can. :) 
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the first time i was abused it was by a boy in my year. I felt like you. That it wasn't rape so It could not be valid and my feelings were stupid. But with help I reliased it was wrong. You are not exaggerating. You should look at this website it helped me
www.nspcc.org.uk HUGS
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It counts if you did not consent. It counts if it hurt you. It doesn't matter what his reasons were. Lots of people are curious and they find someone else who is curious and then go from there. My uncle was 2 years older than me and his abuse started when I was in about 3rd grade... He was nothing but curious, that didn't make what he did to me OK though. Don't minimize what happened to you.... wrong is wrong and he deserved to be punished!
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Of course it counts, I have been in the does it count does it matter phase and thought i was exaggerating. It is a natural part of questioning what happened to you!! You will probably go through a lot of different emotional stages in decoding and defining it and how you feel now.
Nobody has the right to force you to do anything you do not want to and if they are older and you are young and impresionable then even if you consent it it them in the wrong as they should know better not to take advantage of you!! You are in the phase where because you probably dont want to accept what happedned you are making excuses for them not to have done anything wrong. This is also normal. although it also shows you are a strong person and that you have a very rational mind that has unfortunately been put under pressure You will be fine and cope well. But do not ever feel guilty or excuse what they have done to you. It was wrong! hope you are ok as can be =)
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There is huge difference socio-emotionally between a child 6 and one 11 or between 9 and 14. Huge. It is doubtful he didn't know what he was doing was wrong...I'm sure he was curious but exploiting a 6-9 year old is unacceptable. It confused and harmed you which is why your still thinking about it after all these years.
Yes it counts...you're neither exaggerating nor making a big deal out of nothing.
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