What is Sex Pornography Addiction
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a postulated form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
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Long Stort but would appreciate Opinions
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3 Years ago my wife was pregnant with our son, we had being trying for 2 years to conceive and due to a history of miscarriages and seeking doctors advice we abstained from sex for the pregnancy.
When our son was born due to the fact that my wife was breastfeeding, and he was in our room for the most part sex and intimacy pretty much went out the window. It was difficult and frustrating because we had very good sexlife before the pregnancy. Anyways late last year it all started to come back. and 6 weeks later....two blue lines....we weren't even trying, we were both in shock but happy. I could probably count on my fingers, and err toes the amount of times I have had sex with my wife in 3 years. We are very much in love and committed to one another but sexually it is very difficult. During this pregnancy my wife has pelvic disorder making walking difficult never mind much else. Now comes the not so sweet stuff. My wife has caught me several times chatting online to other women. I never wanted to cheat, honestly, it was just a release, anyway back in February she caught me again and I promised I would seek counseling which I did, 8 weeks! Basically I discovered that I didn't want to chat to other women, as that introduced a third party into the marriage but looking at websites videos etc should be seen as a safe, non threatening outlet. For the longest time I was preventing myself from going onto erotic/porn sites as I felt it to be a stepping stone to infidelity, ie Cybering, but my theripst was of the opinion that if I could manage what is acceptable and whats not I could find a happy medium. Any opinions or advice appreciated Posted on 07/04/09, 08:07 am |
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Being in a situation such as yours has to be frustrating for both you, and your wife. I can understand why normal sexual activity would be out of the question, but the fact remains that you are both sexual creatures and have certain, basic physiological needs for release. So, the problem.
I guess I would suggest that you and your wife consider options other than heterosexual intercourse such as mutual masturbation or oral sex. That would accomplish the release you both need and want without putting your wife at risk for any complications in the pregnancy. It's not intercourse, but if combined with some creative foreplay, romance, and massage, it might make an acceptable substitute, at least for the time being, until the baby is born. 
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As always Charlie has a good measured response to your dilema. I would agree that is makes sense to explore alternatives to both your needs. Just be open with each other as to what either of you want need... the harest paer of us as sexual humans in thea thing we call honesty... we have to be honost in our most intimate of relationships, or we are doomed to misey in THTA part of our lives as well as many others...
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I had many miscarriage scares with my son, tons of bleeding and I was told that I had to stay at "pelvic rest" which means no intercourse, nipple stimulation or orgasm. Nipple stimulation and orgasm will cause the uterus to contract, which you don't want if you are susceptible to miscarriage. It's a sacrifice, but it's not forever- and well worth it in the end.
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Honest advice? Grow up. Are you an addict? Yes, then any sexual material is bad, just like all alcohol is bad for an alcoholic. No? Then set your needs aside, temporarily, and engage with your wife while she goes through a difficult pregnancy. It's called empathy. If you are not an addict you should have no problem stopping.
Then, after the baby is born, don't do stupid shit that makes your wife feel like a troll. You'd be amazed at how much more receptive she is when she feels loved and beautiful and desired. Or, you can continue to have sex with your hand, because your perceived need outweighs all other considerations. I think it was Robin Williams who said that God gave man two heads but only enough blood for one to work at a time. Stop thinking with your *other* head.
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familyman79, I am new to this site so i may not have the knowledge that everyone else has.
But from all the posts i have read, I agree with starbright. Your therapist may have told you if you could manage what is acceptable, that all depends on his definition of acceptable, but to me it sounds like he is setting you up for failure. (not intentionally of course) But think about this, your wife is going through a very difficult time, she is going to have doubts about herself and the best support you can give her is to let her know you are with her all the way and willing to sacrifice while she is sacrifices for your family. I don't know where you are with your religious beliefs, but if you are a christian a great book I would recomend that i have recently discovered is titled Every Man's Battle by Stephen Artenburn and Fred Stoeker Stand by your wife it is just as hard for her as for you (not counting being pregnant)
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