Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

I've been with my partner for about 10 years now. This porn addiction reared it's ugly head pretty early on in our relationship. First, it was just visual stimulation, then it progressed to online chatting with women, and now I've caught him chatting with a man.

We keep going in circles. He gets caught, denies it, gets scared, kisses my ass, we go to counseling, I stupidly take him back, and then he gets distant again and the counseling stops.

The trust is completely gone for me, and I refuse to have any sex with him now especially since I don't know if he is actually sleeping with a real live human being. I doubt it because he does this fantasy stuff to avoid any human interaction.

What is frustrating to me is that he won't initiate the sex, and when he does it seems forced. It's misleading to call this a sex addiction, when we have no sex!!!!

Now here's where it gets complicated. We have a 2.5 year old child and own two homes together. Our lives are just so entwined, just the thought of parting is really scary. I'm just so confused. I went to counseling today and she told me to just focus on myself right now and to try not to predict the future.

I'm so hurt by what he's done that I've thought of having an affair just so he can see how much it hurts. Also, because I just feel so neglected and I just want to remember what it feels like to be with a human being again. My confidence is just so low that I forgot how to pick up a man. I know it's probably self-destructive to even consider this but I'm not sure what else to do. Help!!!
Posted on 07/02/09, 05:07 pm