What is Sex Pornography Addiction
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a postulated form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
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OK, a year into my recovery, I am closing in on some of the reasons I relapsed. One of them is that I have yet to be face to face with a single sex addict who is a Christian and believes the Bible is clear that homosexuality is wrong, who is married, who acts out in same sex anonymous sex.
Either I am the only one admitting it, or the only one who does it. Wait, there are hundreds of ads on craigslist of married men who want to do this, anywhere anytime, anyplace. I am sure I will get lots of fire and fury from those who have rejected the notion that homosexuality is sinful and a behavior that needs to be repented of. And I am sure there will be lots of people who think i need to come to terms with my "bisexuality" in order to recover, and I can accept that you all believe this is cool but I don't. This behavior is directly in conflict with what I belive and that is why it is killing me and creating carnage and unmanagability in my life and marriage. So who's with me? Who is married, christian, and goes to adult bookstores for anonymous sex. I would like to have a real discussion about this. Especially from someone who saved their marriage and has 10 years of sobriety. That would be great. If there is noone else out there, then I have a bigger issue. How to deal with the fact that my grandios thinking is actually true. (laugh if you get it) Posted on 07/02/09, 03:07 am |
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Choose i have spoken in depth with h about this tonight. He tells me he personally has not acted out this way, women were primarily his fantasy of choice.
I do not think you are alone. There must be enough people also in the same boat for the term 'down low' to be coined. So although i think you are someone special, i do not think you are unique in this predicament. We will have to see if others come forward. But know this, if they don't, perhaps its because you may be the only brave one to admit it. May you be empowered by your honesty Trina xxx 
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Hi ChoosaUser...
I would just like a add a comment or two to what TrinaOz had to say. I assure you, you are not alone in your behaviors. I have personally known a least a dozen guys in recovery here in St. Louis who have acted out as you have, and who are Christians, and I've worked professionally with dozens of others over the years (I don't know, however, how many of these guys were Christians). I don't know how many of them, if any, are on this panel. But if you don't get any responses to your posting from guys who act out in a homosexual fashion, don't think you're unique in your addiction. You're not. No response will mean that such guys either are not a part of this panel, or that they are unwilling to discuss their behavior in this forum. Good luck!
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I don't think this is going to be of any help to you at all, but just reinforcement that you are not alone. My husband is in a weekly Christian mens group. He never ever tells me anything about these guys out of respect for them, but one time he did slip and started talking about a guy in his group who acted out with same sex partners (anonymous, I am sure). We didn't get far into the conversation as I told him I didn't need to know this stuff, and so I don't know if this particular guy is married. Christian, I am sure of it, and I also know he believes it is wrong.
Choose, you are not alone.
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My husband has similar beliefs as you do, but not so much Chrisitian.
i think you should believe whatever you want to believe if it helps you to stay faithful to your relationship. when I confronted my husband about his affairs with men, I told him that I felt the problem was not the homosexuality or bi-sexuality, but difficulty with having an emotional connection with someone (whether it was me or someone else), because sex with men was easy, was intense, animal-like and no strings attached. good job on saving your relationship.
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To my always reliable DS friends Trina and Cali. Thanks for the encouragement! I am sure I am not alone in this since its so darn easy to act out. The issue is that I have been at this for a year, and I have yet to have a serious conversation with a single man who is willing to admit this, shockingly even on DS...so far. Maybe it is such a deep hole that getting out like I am doing is rare. If noone on DS admits this by the time this post moves down the list into obscurity, then I am officially claiming the title of "Chief Sinner" right after Paul. BTW, anyone want to consider what Pauls addiction was? Gambling, sex, Travel? Any thoughts?
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Hey ChooseaUser...,
I don't know if Twelve Step groups are part of your recovery program of not, but I can think of at least a dozen guys here in St. Louis who act out as you do, guys I've met in these support groups. Two of these guys are Roamn Catholic priests, and one is a Protestant youth minister. Such guys are out there, I assure you. You may be just looking for them in the wrong places.
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I have been going to SAA for this year, and interestingly enough cannot remember a single time anyone has mentioined this in the rooms. As I said, I am sure they are there, but none have admitted it to me or the group.
I went to the GLBT group and there were people there that admitted that cheating on their partner was a problem, but not the same sex acting out. That was not what they were trying to address. In fact, the attitude was that any sexual interactions were fine as long as you did not have a "committment" with a partner to be monogomous. Then the struggle to stay sober was to stay faithful. Not exactly what I am looking for in a group of recovering sex addicts. I will use this as a topic in my next meeting and see what happens.
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