What is Sex Pornography Addiction
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a postulated form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
There is no consen...
Join Now
|
Can A Trigger be a Support?
|
Watch this |
| View More Posts Ignore |
I honestly imagine so, but I really don't think so in this case. I (sometimes) try to respect my SO's parents and the fact that they ARE his parents. However, their lack of teaching him (or at least LOVING him) is a huge contributing factor to his issues with sex, relationships, and emotional detachment. What's so funny, they've shown no concern with his actual feelings.... just his finances. They are more concerned with their own woe than his recovery. Even in the windfall of last week, it was more than obvious that they were more disappointed than they were willing to be supportive.
Do I judge them? Well, of course? How dare you pass judgement on your own child---- a child that you didn't bother to raise, mind you. They've never really shown or said they were proud. He has built up defenses left and right. He has trained himself to feel nothing and he does it well. But we are in the process of trying to break down those barriers. We JUST started counseling and his mother is adamant about getting really involved and "being there" and talking everyday. I do not think it is a good idea. I DON'T want her to say something ridiculous and put him on shut down. I don't feel she needs to come to counseling with him or US until he has been totally honest with himself about how he feels. I feel like I am overstepping my bounds here. She is his mom. But I really don't think she will be good for his recovery and I know she's not good for mine. I am so against her presence that it makes me want to leave. I know it's mean, but I've tried so hard over the past 3 years and gotten nothing. I resent the fact that he is seemingly more anxious to find a relationship with them than fix himself. I know it's not fair to say "no mom" to him. But I am also recovering from this addiction and I know I will not be polite to her... like not at all.. like it was barely happenin under the best of circumstances. WTF DO I DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO? Posted on 11/02/09, 02:11 pm |
| 4 Replies | Add Your Advice |
| View More Posts Ignore |
remember that you are BOTH on a journey and HIS is NOT yours, so you have your bounderies and he has his.
Although your assessment may be correct it is up to your husband to make the changes and repair his relationship with his parents. Good luck 
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
I find the idea of your mother-in-law sticking her nose into a couples' counseling session for you and your husband ludicrous. You need to tell that woman to BUTT THE HELL OUT, NOW!!! She has absolutely no place in a couples' counseling session, and the fact that she trying to horn her way in just shows how controlling she really is.
Now at some point in time, you husband, as a part of his own counseling process, may want to invite his mother to one of his sessions. He and his mother definitely have some issues to deal with. But that's your husband, not the two of you. I guess I need to echo what StoneHeart... said. You have your own recovery program to work, and your program is not your husband's. So do what you need to do to take care of yourself, and when appropriate, your relationship. And let your mother-in-law take care of herself.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
I agree with Charli0217. She needs to butt out. My mother is one of my biggest contributers of my sexual addiction, and my wife hates her with a passion. My other brother broke ties with our mother and I was the only one that stuck around because I felt sorry for her, and always made excusses for her. I am done with that. After a couple of counciling sessions I realized where most of my issues came from and started. It was at a young age and manifested into the addict I am today. I say that to say this. Sometimes I feel that what some think helps, it really hurts. I hurts me to no end I had to cut ties with my mother, but I had to do so with the pressure of my wife, or I would still be on a down hill path. I am not saying he needs to completly cut ties, but seperate himself during his time of recovery. But this is just my experiance, and everyone is diffrent. Just remember you have alot of support and so does your husband in what ever path you both choose.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
I agree with Charlie. You need counseling. Your H needs counseling. You need counseling together. And he may need to bring mama in on his personal counseling. But, I doubt very much that she could contribute anything to you personally nor your marriage.
On a funny note: Yikes! At best, most everyone cringes at "mother-on-law" (HA!) but to SA counseling? Really? Not for me! His mother tried to tell me how it was best to just let them do as they wish. Yeah, ummmm, our counseling would turn into a brawl! LOL!
|
|
|
|
||
| Add Your Advice |
