Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

I think it's normal for most girls and guys to sometimes like these types of things. I have enjoyed watching the same things you describe, yet I once tried to be with a girl and did not like it at all! All I could think about was being with my boyfriend at the time! (He had encouraged me to explore my sexuality if I felt the need) It's fun to watch, but that doesn't mean you want to do it!

I am not a straight gal, but I will try to answer based on some of the reading that I've done...

Some Doctors think that pornography can be addictive in the sense, that your brain get used to certain level of stimulation, and will seek higher levels of stimulus to get the expected result. Over time the brain can get so used to regular pornography, that it will start to seek something less acceptable and therefore more exciting. For example in your case it could be looking at other women. It does not mean that you are sexually attracted to women, in my opinion. It probably means that you got used to regular pornography, but looking at women fires up a more intense response in your brain, because you feel that it is a little abnormal for you, a straight female, to look at other women and get turned on by it. The complexity of this situation adds the excitement, and you get a stronger kick out of it.

Note that I said some doctors. As of today, the scientific community has not reached agreement on this issue. I am not a scientist and not a doctor. But based on what I've experienced myself, and the stories of hundred people, mostly men but some women that I've seen in my recovery, I would definitely advise you to watch out for this behaviours.

It does not at all sound like your behavior is out of control, but there are some signs that you are heading in the dangerous direction.

1. Your pornography viewing began to trouble you enough to go on sex and pornography addiction forum and post a question. Is your inner voice telling you something? I don't know, but I would advice you to have a listen.

2. You begin to use your response to pornography viewing as a means to evaluate who you really are. This is dangerous because pornography , and your response to it does not determent who you are at all. Your response to it is driven by your reptile brain , which is very powerful, and can override your cognition. But it does not define who you are. If you try to define yourself at this low level, you will realize that all you "really" want is to eat, rest and reproduce. But I am sure you are much more then that.

3. Your profile picture. Your profile says you are 58 y/o married women, with 2 grown children. Somehow that is not the message that I get from the profile picture that you've chosen. Does it really represent who you are?

Sorry if it sounds like I am attacking you, but just wanted to share my thoughts. But once again I am not a female, and I am a recovering sex addict so it is very possible that I am making a big deal out of nothing. Better safe then sorry I guess.

Best of luck to you.