Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

I empathise with your struggle, to fight the compulsion to seek porn. My h has also fought this battle, and has been in recovery since May 08.
Seeking sexual pleasure outside of a relationship bond, does play havoc within the relationship. May i ask which came first, the porn or the wife? I ask because of your statement "my wife has really fueled this addiction even more".
Are you saying you seek porn because of her? Or are you thinking if she gave you more sex, this may help you not be compulsive, and stop searching for porn?
Your answers will help us understand where you are at.

Another qustion would be how much does your wife know about your addcitive behaviors. Are they secret, has she discovered something? Are you willing to disclose everyting?

Focusing on your wifes sexual responses will not uncover the core of why you say you are addicted. Getting to those core beliefs will change the whole deal.

Trust me when I say her responsiveness is not the problem! Something else lurks. My wife is very very kind to me and is committed to meeting my sexual needs, and my addiction still works hard at tragging me off into the woods to kill me. It is not her.

Actually I was briefly dabbling with it years before marriage, but then when I got married and sexual contact between us was present, I was not actively looking at porn, nor had a desire to do so, but because of arguments and so on between wife and I, she refuses any sexual contact. She says "I need to take care of myself" if I have sexual build up. So I started looking on the Internet again for porn. Makes me really upset that I have to resort to looking at pics and videos instead of contact with the wife. She is a real control freak and if she does like something I say or do, she holds sex as a way of thinking she has the final word. If I did have sex , even like once a week, I do not believe I would be into porn. I am not like getting "revenge" on her by looking at porn, but have that withheld for so long a person gets quite tense sexually and needing a release.

My wife has seen me looking at it once or twice by myself, but we would watch porn as a couple when we used to have sexual contact

Wow...that's really sad. What kind of arguments? About sex, or other things? Maybe you should talk to her about seeking counseling for both of you on marital issues, including sexual issues. Thing is, that seeking sexual satisfaction via the avenues you are seeking can eventually cause you physical, emotional, and longterm sexual problems.

So, have you talked to her about marriage counseling?

I must agree with others, that having refular sex with your wife would not help your addiction. It is common believe in our society that watching porn is healthy, and you will stop once you find somebody you love. Unfortunately like many of us SA you have found that even though you found the women you love, yoy cannot stop. Welcime to the club ...


The pornography is very adictive, especially since you reliad on this behavior probably for a bigger half of your life. You body cannot tell difference from video and reality(remember how your heart started to pound harder last time you watched a scare movie). You body was design to seek pleasure. It also designed for you to reproduce. But it was also designed to get used to behavior if it is repeated, which in return, means you would have to get more of porn or more hard core porn to raise seme kind of pleasurable response. Now what does it do to the rest of your personality? You become preocupaed with one (most pleasurable) behavio. And the rest of your life seems secondary...

I know that you going to be OK. Realizing that you do have a problem is the hardest part. It will take a lot of work and time to undo the damage, but it is better to at least have the rest of your life. Many man die, only to look back and realized that they spend all their lifes chasing after their basic insticts, instead of
doing things that makes us human( and give us true hapiness).

One last thing. I as an addict was very selfish in my life, and my selfiahnessed had harmed many people. I always though I was a nice guy, untill I really looked hard at my life. I was being very selfish with my partner, not pulling my end of the deal. And to be honest, iF she were to make same bad desigions as I did, i doubt I would have it in me to stay with her. But she stayed with me, and it is my blessing. As
i am becoming a better man( and all I have to do is be MY best,
not somebody else just me) our relationship and love gets stronger.

I found out that my boyfriend has been watching porn for a while. I'm a woman and I feel very insecure AND insulted knowing that he watches porn in my back. Ever since I have found out he watches porn, I have difficulty being aroused and wanting to pleasure him because I keep thinking that his standards are to high for a normal NON PORN STAR WOMAN. I'm scared of perfoming sexualy with him because I will be mediocre compared to the porn he watches!!

I'm telling you this because maybe your wife feels the same way! It is very hard for a woman to compete with the sluts in the porn movies! And maybe your standards are way to high for your wife's ability, after all, she's not a porn star and I doubt she would like to do all the thing they do!!

Just advice I'm giving you, don't take it as an insult!

Your first line was to say "I'm addicted to porn"

So you recognize the addiction, right? And you probably have heard the serenity prayer. If not you can google it.

I challenge you to really search that prayer for it's meaning. As long as you're addiction is hinged to how she acts... how can it change?

My h is very addictive to porn, and to hope he stops I allowed myself to give him something while he watched. I'm nely sober and I'm bp and had not always been there for him when I was sick. I have no problem with porn every once in awhile. I'm open to him sexually, but he seems to want porn. I think he watches more now that I'm sober I think he is doing it more. There was a day we had sex then he went and watched porn and masturbated. One day a Sunday he spent 1hr 22 minutes on the internet. I was a sleep in the bedroom. I mean it was a Sunday morning. I feel that I can't compete with these videos. I feel that he is not seually satisfied with me and that hurst the most. I'm scared I love him so much that IALLOW MYself to be degraded and let him do this. I THINK I'm punishing myself because of my behaivor in the past. Please get help for her and you.

I found this interesting. http://savingyourrelationship.com/...

Hi there, have you sought some professional help? If not do it right away. I would recommend a porn addiction treatment program @ http://www.recoveryconnection.org/... immediately. You can find these centers online or call a toll free number @ 800-714-8354 and get help. Good luck!