Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

Tiff,

For the past 9 or 10 months, you have trained your brain and body to be aroused by watching salacious images, so as porn is an addiction of escalation, it will leave you wanting for even more images to outdo the last ones and it will also leave you objectifying everything in sight which clearly explains the temptation and the never ending urges.

So what can you do to get off this crazy perverted train? First you need to go to: www.yourbrainonporn.com to educate yourself about porn addiction.

Then, you need to seek a recovery program like Recovery Nation which is free and online, but if you want a mentor, you can have one for a fee. Yet, you need to do the homework and follow the entire program for it to work. Just as you committed yourself to watching porn for 10 months, you can commit yourself to go through the recovery program and see to it that not only you end the addictive cycle but stop it from ever happening again.

There you will learn healthy ways to live and eventually be sexual again but for the 90 days or so, there will be no sex, no masturbation to break the cycle that you've established between porn and masturbation.

Next step will be to live porn free henceforth, eradicate your bookmarks, anything that may be tempting around you needs to go.

Which leads me to a rather common sense approach but people forget: How do you avoid temptation? By not seeking or being in a situation that may be tempting. It is that simple. But for that to work, you need to make a list of the things that bring feelings of temptation, things/situations that trigger an urge and then make a contingency plan to deal with it in a healthy way, instead of what you've been doing which is to indulge your addiction.

Next is this newsflash: Nothing outside of yourself has any power over you. Addiction is something you acquire, like a very nasty habit, if you will, pretty much the same way, by repeating the same loathsome behavior until it sticks, right? So the reverse is also true, how can you break a bad habit? By acquiring healthier ways to deal with life instead of hiding from it by using porn.

Another newsflash is this: Stop the guilt, the shame and whatever negative emotion you've been hoarding because those are the very feelings that keep you stuck with porn on an endless loop of indulgence/acting out motif. If you are serious about getting better, then there is no reason to feel bad since you will no longer behave in unhealthy ways.

Last newsflash is this: An urge is just that an urge, there is no need to give into it, it just seems compelling because that's what it designed to do, it is simply an indication that your body wants something it is used to having but no longer does, it is temporary, even though it feels like it is going on forever. I will not kid you, quitting porn is a bear, at times it will feel like you want to scream and shake your fists at life but pay it no mind, it is transitory.

Simply feel the urge, let it go through you, say, "Thanks for sharing but I'd rather not." as often as you need to, eventually, your mind will be quiet, it'll take a while but it'll happen. Stick to the program and you'll see just how much better your life will be without that filth running through your mind 24.7.

Lastly, you are not an addict, you have an addiction. You are NOT the addiction. If you put on a dress, would you be the dress? Of course not.

Same principle applies here. Also, make sure that from now on you speak positive words about yourself, do not talk about your addiction, do not say how hard it is or what nots, talk about your life right now the way you want it to be, even if it does not feel like it is nowhere near it. Words are powerful, they create your future, never forget that. Nothing is impossible for you, I mean that nothing whatsoever. Porn needs you to stay alive, not the other way around.

How do I know that can happen? Because I went through that hell after 30 some years of porn addiction. I did exactly what I told you above and far more but that's another story.

The gist is this: If I after 30 some years of porn addiction can be not only sober for two years, so can you overcome this rather pernicious yet useless addiction.

Best of luck,
Wolf