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Discussion:
What is wrong with me?
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I'm a 59 year old woman.I have two daughters 21 and 23.We are all that we have,no other family that really cares about us.The girls father,my husband,was emotionally abusive and just not there for me or the girls.It was all about him,I divorced him after 20 years.The girls would have to beg him to get a hug.He was killed in an accident 2 years ago( a tree he was cutting down fell on him) We are all left with so many unanswered questions.
I know its normal but we have had therapy and the therapist said that we would create an island, with only us in it and I really think that has happened. My oldest daughter met a guy 9 months ago,just seen him for 3 times,he's in the military,yet she wants to go live with him in 5 months when he comes home.He's deployed right now.My other daughter wants to leave and go to college in a nearby big city.I'm terrified of being alone.I sound so selfish but I'm not.Please help me.
Posted on 01/30/12, 03:26 pm
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Reply #1 - 02/01/12  3:30pm
" Your daughter's seem to be branching out and looking to take chances, please don't try to hinder that. They are old enough to make thier own choices. If this military man lives on base, most rules are you have to be married but again not sure. College is a great thing for your daughter to do. Now for you, if your going to be lonely maybe you can find a social group in your area, like a rec center club for things you like, theres also singles trips where single people go do different things that is a great way to make new friends and maybe a partner. Volunteer your time or services to those who need it. You will get alot of joy from it. Also don't be afraid to try a new craft or hobby. "
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Reply #2 - 05/18/12  12:54am
" I totally feel for you. I just separated from my husband of 27 years due to drug abuse. He chose his drugs over me. I found out that he had been using cocaine for a year now and so I gave him an ultimatum. He does not want to quit so I left. But now I'm all alone. Thought a beachfront condo and my dog would comfort me but that has not worked. My 3 girls are all gone out of the house which made it easier for me to leave. He is still leaving in our huge beach house by himself. I cry every night. The nights are always the hardest part. I've been the breadwinner for years so I keep myself busy during the day. You should join groups that have activities in your local area. I devoted my 27 years taking care of him so I never wanted to make new friends or spend time with family. But now that I have a lot of time in my hands, I'm able to spread my wings. Try meetup.com. I joined workout bootcamps, crochet groups, etc. There are so many activities even just hiking or walking groups in your area. It really helps to keep yourself busy. I know it's hard. I'm still just one month into the separation but I just take each day as it comes. I miss him so so so much still. "
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Reply #3 - 05/18/12  12:55am
" opps spelt living wrong. "

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