Separation Anxiety Support Group

I've had separation anxiety for a few years now, I can't pinpoint exactly when/how it started but it was definitely pre-teen (possibly around age 10). I used to be convinced that my mother would abandon me and I was terrified of this happening, even though my worries were completely unfounded (I come from a predominantly loving supportive family). My separation anxiety has gotten better over the years but I still suffer with anxiety. Whereas before it was the worry that my mother would leave me, now it is a worry that something bad will happen to her. If she goes out without her 'phone and I can't get in touch with her, I start feeling really panicky, getting a dry mouth, hyper-ventilating etc. The main source of my worry is that I won't know where she is -- if I know I can contact her, I'm fine. But otherwise, I nearly have a panic attack.

It is very hard to deal with this because I have spoken to my mother about it and we had a long discussion when I was 16 (I had an outburst of sobbing and talked it over with her and that actually started me on my progress to dealing with my anxiety problem). But now that I'm adult (late teens) she is not sympathetic and if she notices me starting to panic, she says "oh don't start that old thing again".

The truth is, it's not "that old thing": feeling like this makes me feel childish and pathetic, like a 3-year-old who's glued to their mom's side. I have not spoken to many family members about it, because I feel embarrassed about it. I *want* to deal with it and I have gotten better but I still feel seriously anxious a lot of the time. I am going to college this year and I need to be able to cope - I'm not anxious about college but the thing which most bothers me is that I'll go to class and then when I get back, my mother will be out and I won't be able to contact her/won't know where she is. I am scared of this happening and of having panic attacks. I would like to get counselling but I am unsure how to approach my mother with this because the last time I spoke to her about it, the discussion did not go well. Ideally, I want to know how to deal with my separation anxiety *myself* -- I know I can do it, I just don't know how...
Posted on 04/28/11, 05:44 am