What is Senior Dating Sexuality
This community is intended for senior to discuss senior dating and sexuality, and the specific issues that arise for seniors, such as starting over as a widow or widower.
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why does my Horomos play up like a child
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I can't believe I'm looking or asking this question I guess I feel so ashamed of myself I don't know, but i never had sex before and im 25 yrs old. My horomos is messed up, not sure if this as anything to do with it but I was abused and scar in emotional way everday for 2 years and alot off pain . I got scared to trust anyone, its like my body wants sex and something is pushing me my horomos, I keep inting at people for sex its like i can't stop, i have starting to control my horomos. and become a better person, Im still fighting the pass of my childhood, should i be ashamed of myself or should i let go of everthing and start my dream of writing a book and do acting
Posted on 08/24/09, 07:08 am |
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I say it is okay to have some embarrassment (shame) over such a question, but it is far better to ask it anyway.
Shame only hurts us when we let it control us, so you are doing the best by overruling the embarrassment. And it does NOT sound like your hormones are messed up because it is normal and natural at 25 for the hormones to be pushing you to want and to need sex. So I say yes to writing your book as I wrote a book myself based on my family codependency, but I must say you are far more brave and daring then I am in acting out parts of your childhood abuses. I say, since you do have the nerve then that means you do have the possibility of doing great things in your life. And we do not really need to trust other people, because if you do it right then we only need to trust our self. Welcome to this group even though not a true senior. 
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Human beings have a natural urge to have sex. In the millions of years humans have been around, those who had genes that caused them to not want sex died off without passing the gene on to anyone, so, it is very possible that everyone today has a built in urge to have sex. My sex drive at 25 was very strong. You may just have that natural urge, but nothing with which to compare it.
Sex is much more imprtant to those who were abused as children compared to people who were not abused as children. Some of us want no sex, others cannot get enough. The lack of trust in others is common for those abused as children. Many confuse sex with love and are afraid that if they do not do sex well enough, nobody can ever love them. Without a lot of trust, I think it is also hard to have satisfactory sex. If we do not trust our sex partner, we can never just let go and enjoy the feelings. Doing so makes us feel too vulnerable. Many adults who were sexually abused as children also feel shame about having sex. Even though few of us had any control over having sex at avery young age, our abusers seemed always to plant the seed of guilt, it was somehow the victims fault. Shame can inhibit the sex drive too. The most powerful "good" feeling many kids ever have is the feeling they get having sex. Our brains have not yet matured to a level that we could comprehend the intense feelings or the cause of it. How could anything that feels that good be so bad? So, as we mature into adults, we search out sex. Some want more sex than most people because they have become addicted to the 'feel good' chemicals released by the brain when the individual reaches orgasm. If your conflicted feelings are causing you problems, the best thing for you would be to get some professional counseling.
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