Senior Dating & Sexuality Support Group

I must say that I dislike the very idea of having "just friends" with the opposite sex, and women seem to carry this pretense way WAY too far.

In the old days we would call them prick-teasers.

If one considers the concept closely then it does not make any sense at all.

Male and female can be friends when both are working in the same job and then it is a professional friendship, or Men and Women in a group like AA or a political org or some activity and then there is some mutual interest to base the friendship on.

But to be "just friends" where there is no mutual connection that over rides the sexual aspect then it is absurd.

The Ladies that want to go out to eat or dances and call on the phone and text message the opposite sex but maintain it as just friends is just playing a silly and childish game that will get every one into hurt feelings and worse.

I like the old saying of John D. Rockefeller who said;
Do not go into business with friends, instead be friends with others in business.

I even feel uncomfortable having Men as friends when there is no reason to be friends.

I have a friend that helps me work on my truck and I help him work on his car so our friendship is based on our mutual exchange.

Why would a woman want a Man-Friend?

It seems like; they got a dog and a cat so they want a pet Man too.

I have even been to singles groups where the Women want to be "just friends" and I do not want to be comfortable being single as I go to a singles group (or Website) to stop being single.
And many Women want to be like brother and sister, and I have real brothers and sisters so I want a GF or a lover and I do not want more impersonal relatives.

And I am not trying to be overly critical as I am just trying to be open and honest about this subject, and I say this is a fine subject for this group.

And I really do know women that only want to be just friends with me, and I do not call them as I wait for them to call me and I usually play along with each one.

Ok...I gotta jump in on this one. There was a line out of the movie, When Harry Met Sally, and HE said: Men and women can't be friends because the *sex* thing gets in the way.
I have to agree because that's the way MEN are and always will be no matter WHAT their age. With women, or rather myself...I could care less IF I ever had sex again, and I'm absolutely 99.9% sure I never will and don't want to. Having said that, I would still like to have a couple of *Man* friends. I live alone and need help sometimes and a handy man would sure be....well....HANDY!!!!
I also have many health issues going on, including spinal stenosis and I walk with a cane, that is IF I can walk that day. I think when you aren't in the best of health and you would like to have a *Man* friend, I see nothing wrong with that as long as you let your *Man* friend know that is all it is...and will ever be.....Friendship....period....the end.
if your *Man* friend doesn't want to comply, then Bye-Bye.
I guess I will hire someone to help me and maybe he will sit down and chat with me as well.
L.P.

Hi all,
kate, to answer your Q, YES! I absolutely believe that men and women can be friends - BUT, you both have have to want the friendship. If one wants a sexual relationship and the other doesn't, then, no, you can't be "friends".
I have a lot of male friends, and no I don't ask them to do "handy" things for me, lol! They are friends like any other friends.
"Prick teasers" would be women wanting someone to want them sexually as some sort of feel-goodism, it's not based on honesty and certainly won't turn into a friendship.
I enjoy talking to men because they typically don't seem to play games like women do, you rarely have to guess what they're up to - I hate game playing and bullshitters. I can see through that cloud immediately.
Take care,
AJ

Aww ameliajean, just a handyman around the house, that's all? Hmm, I'll bet ya you just want them to work on your plumbing so you can see their butt cracks! LOL!

Oh, and I'm 99.9% sure that I want to be in a sexual relationship again! It must be the "male" in me!

In my youth I thought it would work, even though I knew the boy had a crush on me. He had told me he wanted more than friendship at one point, and I responded with we would be friends only. When we were older and had not seen each other for many years, I became single again, (40s) and we met up. We went out for a few drinks and he told me he loved me and always had. Did I lead him on, no I didnt, I just shared company with him.... But he told me then that he could no longer be friends with me because of his feelings. I felt terrible and I did not call him again..I didnt want to hurt him. We have mutual friends, old friends from the past.. Anyway I heard that he denied ever saying that, to end the friendship.. To me this is a hard lesson in the impossibility of having friends of the opposite sex... He was one of my longest friends as we met in school..grade 9. Sad but true!

Which gives credence to my statement that you BOTH have to want the friendship...for it to work.
It can happen, I assure you!
AJ

and bobbyj...a "butt crack" has never been a turn on for me!

I think that for any man of any age, sex with nearly every woman he knows can be somewhere on his agenda. With my age and health issues, I am like the dog that chases the fire truck. What could I do if I ever caught it.

ameliajean, that was a joke! LOL! Butt cracks crack me up!

Dear Kate, you amaze me.

You rejected the boy, then reject him again as a Man, then you go tell it to your mutual old friends putting him on the spot, and still you do not understand claiming it is because of not being able to be friends with the opposite sex.

It is amazing indeed.

Well Booky indeed it did happen like that. I did not however seek him out or desire to be harsh with him. We were in the same circle of friends. We stayed in tough for longer as life went on and I went through a divorce and we remained friends. So then I should have denied him all friendship? I found that hard to do as I wanted friends and he was easy to be friends with.. However I was always honest with him when he brought up going further. I have not seen him now for several years but I still think of him, as we shared many confidences and were close for quite a while. It depended on where I was in my life.. This thread is interesting, as I still do not feel that the friendships with men are possible, but I wish for it to be a possibility.