What is Self-Injury
Self-harm is also known as self-injury (SI), self-inflicted violence (SIV), self-injurious behavior (SIB), and self-mutilation, although this last term has connotations that some p...
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I wont do it. but that doesnt mean I dont want to.
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Im trying not to cut because if I do I'll just prove her right. She's moved on. She's done. Im no longer a part of her life. Though I do feel as if she felt like she was trapped in our relationship and the reason she gave was an excuse. I want the pain. I want to eliminate all the emotional pain I feel. I dont want to fucking deal with it. I hate it. I hate this. I miss her. I just really fucked up. I hate this. I want to cut. I just want to close my eyes and stay that way. gah. I dont know anymore. If I do cut her I will enable her accusations to become true. I dont want that because they're not. Im just rambling. Im just venting. Thanks for reading this. Sorry I wasted your time.
Posted on 07/02/09, 01:07 pm |
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You have not wasted my, or our, time... nor are you rambling. Venting maybe, but all have meaning for the words you have written are scribed emotions worth expressing.
Do not cut. Choose to not cut. I know that sounds empty and easy, sometimes nearly impossible to do, but you always have the choice. No matter what happens at some point you come to a crossroads and you have to make the choice whether you cut or refrain. Emotions do not make the choice for you. Urges do not make the choice for you. People do not make the choice for you. I truly am very sorry to hear that you are going through a struggle for a lost relationship. While I'm not in support of that type of relationship due to its nature, the pain is still real and I still feel for you. I want the following words to help you in any way possible. She might have moved on, felt trapped, and you're not a part of her life anymore... yet that does not mean anything about you. Right now is the time to redirect your focus from her to yourself. Right now is the time to care for your pain and loss. Right now is the time to heal and recover. She might be no more, yet you are more. Through this painful and dreadful experience can be a step forward to becoming who you want to be. Because of this instance, it will shape you into who you are tomorrow... and who is that person? Who do you want that person to be? Lost? Broken? Probably not. So when you just want to close your eyes, forsake anything else that you might see... only see yourself and who you are and what you have to offer. You say you fucked up. I don't know what that means or what you might have done, but none of that matters now. Don't repeat the offense, but don't dwell on it either. Take this time to learn so that when you are ready to move on, you move on for the better and not worse. I hope I have helped in some fashion. I beg that you let me know if I can help. - Steve 
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Thank you. I appreciate the reply.
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Relationships end. And you WILL get through this. I know it must suck right now, breaking up is so fucking hard. But will cutting make her come back? Will cutting make everything ok again? Probably not. Write about it. Get it all out. Tell her everything. Just don't cut.
I know i don't know you but i know how it feels and i really do care. I hope you feel better soon.
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