Self-Injury Support Group

I'm living in such a dark place right now and I don't know what to do. I've been severally depressed for several months now and have thought about suicide. I guess I should explain how this all started.

About one year ago my best friend, Ashley, (at the time) started dating this guy, Mike (I'm not using their real names). Well at first everything was going okay. Of course I got dragged everywhere as a third wheel. I hated it. Yes, I know I could have said no but that wasn't the type of person I am. I am always their for my friends. I would do anything for them and I always put them first before myself. Okay well things started getting really weird about one week into their relationship. Mike started telling me how much he wanted to be with me and not Ashley. It just keep getting worse. It got to the point where he was willing to cheat on Ashley with me and keep the entire thing a secret. Well of course I didn't. I was put into a bad situation. I knew the right thing to do was to tell her and so I did. I told her the things that I knew she needed to know. Well she confronted Mike about it and he denied the entire thing, but I had the text messages to prove everything that I was saying. Well long story short, she ended up taking his side and left me. I mean I saw that coming but I wish it wouldn't happen.

Ashley is known in school as miss popular and miss perfect. So once our school found out about what i so called did to her, everyone was furious with me. They all accused me of lying and just trying to hurt her. This was obviously not the case. I just wanted to tell her the truth of what her boyfriend was trying to do behind her back. Everyone at school literally wanted me dead. They did not like how I made miss popular sad when everyone loved her happy. I began getting death threats and evil looks from people. I hated being at school. Everyone in our school literally took her side and hated me. So I was left with no friends. I became severally depressed and started cutting. I felt like what everyone was telling me was true. Maybe I did not do the right thing. Did I do the right thing?

Now its about a year since all this drama began and their is still extreme hatred towards me from most of my school. I have talked to Ashley and we have worked out most of our issues and she did apologize to me for what she did. Now she realizes that I was telling the truth. Her and I do not speak anymore, which makes sense.

There is still so many things that I have going on that is making my depression worse. I still do self injury myself in different ways and I cannot find a friend or someone that cares. I am so alone and I just want a friend. Its so hard though :'(. I know life is full of positives and negatives but all my life is, is negatives. I do not know what to do anymore. I do not know if I have the strength to go back to school in a couple weeks and confront the people I have so many issues with. I used to be such a strong person, but now I feel weak. Help...
Posted on 07/22/12, 01:03 pm