What is Self-Injury
Self-harm is also known as self-injury (SI), self-inflicted violence (SIV), self-injurious behavior (SIB), and self-mutilation, although this last term has connotations that some p...
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My girlfriend is cutting again
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My girlfriend had a 6 month affair during our engagement. Her affair ended 2 years ago. The fall out was huge on both sides. Anyway, she began cutting (she is 40) about a year after that.
She only did it for a few months. Tonight, I saw a cut again and she admitted that she cut again last week. Our relationship has been in turmoil. We do not get along well after her cheating. I needed things to heal, but she just shut down. How do I handle this? What do I do? Does this mean that I should not ask her for anything for me to heal? I feel that her behaviour has jipped me out of my own healing. Posted on 10/21/09, 11:10 pm |
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Youch, that's gotta hurt. It's rough to deal with those situations without cutting involved.
People cut for many reasons, but a prominent one is guilt. It's hard for cutters to live with themselves. They have a rought time forgiving themselves. Have you completely forgiven her? That will help her heal and result in you being a little less disturbed in your own healing. Have you guys had couples therapy? It's not a sign a weakness, but a way to grow. Sit her down and explain your feelings. Weird, but, it will do a lot of good. She needs to know how this affects you. Try not to make it into too big of a deal, and try not to upset her, but don't hide the fact of how deeply you hurt because of her actions. Life isn't fair, especially in relationships LOL But the balance can be found. Good luck!!! 
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I think the main thing to remember is that its not your fault. its too easy to blame when si is involved, its an addiction and its soooo difficult to quit.
TiredLittleTanager is right you need to completly forgive her if you can, and you need to let her know ur there for her and dont forget to look after yourself. let her know how you feel. hope this helps, hugs xXx
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i agree and all but i think she still needs to take responsibility ...you should not be jiped of your own feelings.... just be sure to verbalize your feelings maturely and not to insult but also be sure to tell her that you want to move on with her so you just want to adress these unpleasent feelings now..... cutting is a form of escaping and not dealing with probs.... tell her she needs to deal with them but be there for her to.
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Ok i may only be a teenager but i knowwhat it is like to have a bad relationship i have seen it all. Comfort her she probably cuts because u guys cant get along and guilt dont ridicule her comfort her and love her like a husband do all pple gets into fight wen they are arried but u need to learn that women r rlly emotional and we canrtm take pple telling us we r doing wrong all the time. Thats my advice. I bet it will work. :)
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