What is Self-Injury
Self-harm is also known as self-injury (SI), self-inflicted violence (SIV), self-injurious behavior (SIB), and self-mutilation, although this last term has connotations that some p...
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super triggered right now
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I'm bipolar. or schizophrenic. still haven't gotten it all quite figured out. diagnosed bipolar but i've been having hallucinations and flashes of strong urges to hurt people and stuff.
ANYWAY I've been extremely manic lately. this will be my 8th day cut free. a year ago, I couldn't go 2 hours without cutting. 6 months ago was better. I'm going crazy. I need to fucking cut. but like. there's like nowhere fucking left to cut anymore. i want to go back so fucking bad. back when my legs were mostly bare and i thought i was so fat and ugly and was new to a razor. when i got so mad i blacked out and the razors cut my skin like butter and a had gashes worthy of stitches. now that i've been hospitalized and tried stopping for a while it hurts more than then and i have a long way before i xcan get back to that and UGH. i just wanna scream and run around then room into walls and destroying everything with music blasting. i just don't know what the hell to do and i'm very manic and memories and umcomfortable thoughts are rolling right on in and every time i talk to my boyfriend on the phone afterwards i get very manic and upset and want to go cut and i don't know why. can anyone offer any advice? not that i deserve it Posted on 10/08/09, 09:10 pm |
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You should be very proud that you've gone that long without cutting. It is just as much an addiction as anything else, and very hard to quit. I can relate to you to an extent, and if you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you but I don't know what I can do besides listen, but I'm more than happy to do that. Are you taking any medicine for it or anything? If the need to cut gets so bad, maybe try ice cubes or really cold water to put your hands in? And don't think that you don't deserve advice. It is very hard to admit that you need help, and asking for support is the first step. I respect your honesty and that you're trying to give it up. It's going to be a long battle but you aren't alone. I really hope you feel better soon. ::hugs:: 
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Sorry, just read that you said ice didn't help. But you definitely have support on here, so keep that in mind.
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It's so hard, i know. I have chronic depression and anxiety and i am fighting urges right now. if i wasn't writing to you right now i would probably be cutting. and you do deserve advice you seem like a good person. I tried ice, didnt work. rubberbands didnt work either, i guess just go somewhere where you're not alone. or draw on urself i did that once. i took a red permanent marker and wrote "Unwanted" on my arm. it didnt neccesarily help but at least it kept me distracted, hope this helps.
im here if you need to talk.
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