Seasonal Affective Disorder Support Group

Welcome to the group smudge

From my experience, SAD begins to affect me in October and lasts to March/April when I find myself becoming more alert/motivated/mood lifted. I can only speak for myself.

I do isolate myself from others, but I dont know whether to put it down to my social anxiety. January, and particularly February seems to be a bad month for SAD. I think I have slept on average 14 hours per day for the past month, and am still tired.

Could it be that your boyfriend has depression/anxiety, as it only started in December??? No previous history of SAD.

Has he looked into why he is feeling this way, ie. doctor? Has he mentioned why he thinks he feels this way ~ or is he possibly just so low to deal with it? ... you mentioned he "hit rock bottom".

Sorry I am not of much help ~ here for you if I can help futher.

Angel xx

Thanks for your reply Angel it really helped. it's nice to know there is someone i can talk to about this stuff. He may well have begun to feel the symptoms in October but that is when my mum died so my focus was elsewhere. He has got an awful lot on his plate on top of the actual disorder - serious work problems, house move - you name it he's had it to deal with. He sees himself as a failure - which is, of course, is not the truth. I don't think it has ever been this bad before but he hasn't ever had to deal with so many other outside stresses on top of it all. Do you think I'm best leaving him alone and waiting for him to get in touch or do you think I should just send him a message every now, I don't want to be a pain. What helps you?

PS He's has SAD for many years but it does seem to be getting much worse.

You are most welcome smudge ~ if I can help you I will try my best.

So it seems your boyfriend has a history of SAD. Well that is something we have accomplished.

If he has had "a lot on his plate" this will make his more anxious and I would assume, is making his SAD worse.

The fact that you said he reached "rock bottom" kind of made me think that he had some issues going on beforehand ~ they usually store up until you cannot take anymore, then your system overflows ~ hope I have simplified this enough for you.

Please remember I am only giving you MY advice on how I WOULD FEEL. I am no expert, I have had SAD for many years.

I know I have not been good this past month, and the last thing I wanted to do, was to have people around me.

BUT, on the other hand ... when people are VERY LOW, they may not be able to ask, be too exhausted, or even think that they need a helping hand ~ especially men.

If he has had a lot of pressure, the failure feeling does arise ~ so sounds to me as if a helping hand is what he could be doing with.

Going about it in a way that he may not notice or realise that you are trying to help him, may in some way help him to be able to talk/cope/deal with how he is feeling.

A GENTLE push in his direction, will let him know you care, but you will know how to do this in your way ~ with your bf.

Sometimes we find it hard to accept help, as this is also a sign of failure, which just makes us worse, so if you could contact him, let him know you care and are thinking of him ~ BUT ~ what he will not need is pressure.

Slowely, baby steps ~ try and let him accept your help.

Sorry I am a bit mixed up today ~ hope this helps you in some way.

Here for you ~ Angel xxx

Thanks Angel. You've really helped. I can see why you're called Angel. i hope you're feeling better today.

Smudge xxx

I know how you feel, my girlfriend has SAD as well. She is a wonderful woman that I love more than anything in the world. The problem I have is that suddenly our relationship is over. One day all is fine, the next day thats it. It is so difficult to deal with, it breaks my heart.

Its now british summertime and SAD seems to still be an issue.

Can someone please try and explain how she may be feeling and why is it that despite the fact I do all I can to help, I am the one that gets pushed out. Our relationship has suffered, everytime we have to start again and build back up and then problems again.

I have just got her a light box and she is on the pills all the time, she did shop taking them a couple of months ago but is back on them again.

Thanks

first, my condolensces for your loss, I understand grief and to re-conect after the trajic death of my sister (we were both in our late20's) when you have one loss it compounds with anything else that is stressfull and challenging esp when you need support at this time. I understand how challenging a relationship is with people who like myself and your bf are either depressed or grieving- same loner symptoms
I'd like to tell you I have been able to be in a commited relationship but that hasn't been the case. I was uncomfortable to show this 'shadow' side of myself as it was a polar opposite to the person I portray and how others see me. When people pull away- it rarely has anything to do with you- I know that does't make the pain sting less, sorry...Both people have to be at a place where they can be vulnerable and open and both accept and be supportive. I hope this helped you, even though I didn't tell you what we all want to hear in your situation