What is Seasonal Affective Disorder
Seasonal affective disorder, also known as S.A.D., winter depression or the winter blues is an affective, or mood, disorder. Most SAD sufferers experience normal mental health thro...
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I don't know if what I have is S.A.D. or severe depression as I feel this way almost all day, almost everyday. For me it dosen't seem to have a stopping point. I experience severe mood swings and deep periods of loniness. Even though I have always been a loner and completely enjoy my solitude, that's when the bad thoughts creep in. When I'm all alone and deep inside my hermit cave, that's where the thoughts are. And they don't go away. The initial thoughts hound me and taunt me, until more bad thoughts come. It never takes long before the thoughts have consummed me and I am no longer my own person, but a zombie, under their control. The longer I stay in my cave, the more control they have over me.
I have been a reject all my life. The thoughts want me to hurt those who have done me so wrong all of my life. They want me to show them how it feels to never have been wanted. To never have been needed. To never have been loved. This pain of rejection NEVER STOPS!!!!!! THE PAIN NEVER GOES AWAY!!!!!! THEY NEVER LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!! THEY TAUNT ME DAY AND NIGHT!!!! I CAN SEE AND HEAR THEM LAUGHING AT ME. Telling me how I'm such a loser. Only losers have bad thoughts. They tell me that they are my only friends and that I should obey their commands............................ please help me............................................................................................... i don't know what to do i don't know where to turn for help Posted on 11/07/09, 12:11 pm |
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It's hard to tell if this is SAD, but for sure there is "Ruminations" and those can really suck. There are some specific medications that deal directly with this problem and it would be a good start. Also, take whatever bit of self esteem you may still have after this battering and stand up for yourself. When you hear these thought, say something back that is nice.
Examples: automatic thoughts: "You're a looser" Internal response: "Lots of people struggle, I am taking steps to feel better" a.t.: "see- why did you try to make a friend? It doesn't work" i.r.: "friendships take time and energy. As I build my energy I will try again." Or some generic responses; "Thanks for sharing" "Good thing you're not in charge" "You're boring me" "So, I love myself anyways" Also, if you can take some time to hear who's voice it is you hear. Listen for the tone and wording. Is there someone in your life that talked to you this way? They may have hurt you in the past, but you get to say if they still get to waste your time. I know for myself, I sometimes wonder what to do in a situation- my dad will say, "what would you tell your daughter to do?" This kind of question of what I would advise my daughter or best friend or what I would SAY to someone who spoke to one of them the way your thoughts are talking to you... it helps me get some outside perspective- from inside lol. Best of luck- hang in there! 
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