Schizophrenia Support Group

Totally. Sometimes I live to dream. I feel like there really is this other place but I can't quite get there except when I'm dreaming. Lord knows I try when I'm awake. I don't even mean to either. It's like I'd rather be there. It makes more sense. But I'm trying to be more present in this reality. It's a lot of work. Do you have these problems?

Sometimes I would rather be in my alternate universe, although it's usually a terrifying place with my ex trying to rape me or my loved ones being killed or being in a new holocaust or being eaten alive by a giant monster. and I feel everything. at the same time, i would rather be there because it is more interesting and not where I grew up. It has more simplistic problems.

I don't think that's what you meant but that's how I feel

The fear thing is interesting. I have been really spaced out in a dream world since a little girl and I made friends with it. I get scared cause sometimes I can't tell what is happening around me, but I feel safe as long as I don't go anywhere. When I do or take on a project it is very hard to tell what is really going on. I find that I will take on television. I was raised without it and that's usual for people today. There is a lot of drama, violence, and creepy things going on in TV and it's plots, sounds, and etc. enter my alter universe. So I have to live without TV now too and radio. Even if I hear it in another room it will bring it's insanity into me. I learned to recognize it as TV. I can watch a movie at night but even that will sometimes plague me. Even people talking negative and too many construction sounds cars and trucks. I think that's why I am isolating more and more. I'm afraid of quiet too. I'm trying to tune into positive sound and feel that loving presence and I believe love rules all. I spend lots of time getting good with 'everybody' out there or in there, whatever. Sucks to be me at times. But I hope we can find our peace. Anyway the micro waves of the universe are full and I think I may be a receptor of sorts so I have to filter the shit out from the loving ancestors who are trying to lead me in a good direction. The Native American people I know believe our ancestors are around us all the time. And if I am one of them one day I will still be me, not some scary weird thing. So I'm trying to show them some respect. Sounds like we have a different psychosis but still I like talking. Thanks.