Rheumatoid Arthritis Support Group

• It’s been about a little over 3 years since I had my arthroscopic right shoulder surgery,
• 3 years since I was diagnosed with RA
• About 2 and half years since I realized I was in pain since I was 12 years old
• I gave up playing basketball, softball, swimming, skiing, running, and snowboarding
•2 and half years since I realized that my growing pains, my constant “ear infections”, my TMJ, my complaining that my knees hurt, wasn’t all in my head, it was RA. My pain was very real.
• 2 years since my left shoulder surgery.
• Almost 2 years since my first bad flare began
• I researched and researched. I began to accept that I could be achy and tired for the rest of my life. I began to accept the fact that I wouldn’t be able to travel. That I would have to live in the US with good health care. That I might not be able to ever live alone. I was very alone. I couldn’t talk about it to that many people. I didn’t want to come off as complaining, or whining. I didn’t want pity.
• I napped every day, stayed in on Friday nights. I cut back on classes, I cut back on hours at work.
• I wore really cool wrist braces (not cool at all), and had a great swagger (limp.) It affected my sex life. I got to the point where I’d sleep with lighter blankets so I wouldn’t hurt as bad if I had to roll over. I would stand at the bottom of a flight of stairs and just sigh…and then ask my sister to go run up and grab my bag that I forgot. Every joint in my body seemed to flare except my elbows.
• When I asked my 2nd rheumy about whether or not a stick would help me with my hikes, my doctor told me “people with RA shouldn’t hike” and that’s when the RA drove me to tears for the first time…and so he prescribed me a poison called methotrexate.
• I napped more, lost some hair, lost a lot of weight, napped some more, the pain barely went down. I got sick more and more.
• I took control. RA did not control me.
• The greatest phrase that still keeps me going is “I cannot get frustrated unless I am doing everything in my power to keep my RA in check”
• I tried acupuncture. Got back in the pool, even if it was for only 5 minutes. Made yoga a priority. Practiced everything I learned in health psychology, Buddhism, and Taoism that I thought would help. Meditated. Wrote down all my frustrations and put it out of mind. Attending arthritis conferences. changed my diet, learned as much I could.
• Almost 1 year since my first flare ended.
• 1 year since I’ve been prescription free
• Learned BALANCE is the most important thing that I can do. Balance with physical and mental stress. Learned that I can’t act like a normal 23 year old, but I am healthier than a normal 23 year old. I can touch my toes again, I can do the butterfly.

I never would’ve thought that I was able to get back in the pool swimming laps, getting back on my board and carving down a mountain, back on the climbing walls. It took a lot of patience, a lot of talking myself out of bed every day and some really, really long showers and even longer naps. I learned I can’t work 25 hours a week on top of going to school for about 25 hours. I learned I can’t eat like crap and then go out for a night of drinking. I still can’t run, but I can swim and practice yoga. And I am happy.
Yes I’m scared about the future, yes I’m scared that my boyfriend (who wasn’t around during the bad flare) won’t be able to put up with it, yes I’m scared that I won’t be able to travel, but I haven’t ruled it out.

But I’m happy and in control of my RA. And I won’t let myself get frusterated unless I have exhausted every possibility and am as proactive as I can be.

So what I guess I'm trying to get at is don't give up, don't give in, don't let it control you. Especially for all the young people out there that can't relate to anyone else but people on here. I relate. I get it. As bad as it can get, as much as you want to just give up, it can get better and will get better as long as you keep trying. Don't let yourself get frusterated unless you are doing as much as you possibly can to control it. I live in balance now and RA seems to be one of the best things that has happened to me. I am stronger because of it.
Posted on 11/02/09, 10:11 pm